Mellisonant Patchwork

JC's Road to Redemption: 4 days to go!

2009-03-01T14:27:00.003-06:00

OK. I had to snag TI's show's title...even though I am being set free in 4 more freakin' days and not sentenced! (And, I'll admit it, I've watched the show a few times)

It's been a LONG month, however, and not very stress free! Regardless, its gone more smoothly than I had imagined and been harder than I expected too! People have been very kind to me as I transition out to the new job. So I can't complain about that. All while also going cold turkey off diet coke...but I made it to March!

Now to just finish all this dang paperwork I've been procrastinating doing...when I gave notice the stress and emotional toll made me go into hibernation on the paperwork front (survival mode) so now it's all hitting me and I've got lots to get turned in before Thursday!

We did our taxes today and THANK THE GOOD LORD we are getting a return! We have not had a return for nearly the whole time we've been married! So it was nice and unexpected :)

My 5k training is still going...getting harder...but hoping to complete it by June...I never ran a single mile in my whole life (not even in PE class...I usually walked) so the fact I'll soon be running 5k is mind boggling...but I'm already thinking about how great it would be to do a 10k training later in the year! I'm hooked...

Alright...that's all I've got...not much new here!

Peace.

Social Worker 007: Live to See Another Day

2009-02-04T21:16:00.000-06:00

I've been gone a long time! Sometimes when you find yourself in lockup, you lose contact with the outside world...you find yourself under constant surveillance, you lose hope, and you keep head down...but you never lose track of how many days you've been there...fortunately, my sentence is coming to an end. In 28 days I will be free from my current work. I will miss the school terribly, the clients, some of the coworkers...but not the cell I've been confined to!
Since I've given my notice, strange things have been happening...most people are excited that I've made it out! I even had a client, who is very insightful, tell me that she "doesn't blame me" for leaving because she can see the place is "dysfunctional" and "oppressive.". That pretty much sums it up! When I worked county, it was traumatic but in a way that was not personal. It was unpredictable, but anyone was at risk. The current job is traumatic in a personal passive aggressive way. There are power and control issues. People like a good verbal alley brawl as a way to communicate. Step out of line get punished. Say nothing get looked down on. One day they're nice, one day they're not. And don't you dare joke...ever!

The wise hubby said "it sounds like an abusive relationship.". He also hit it on the head! So I started seeking shelter elsewhere and a special social worker I know hooked me up!

So, a big thanks to Heather who helped this social worker...live to see another day. I'll be ever so glad to start the new job! But I'm sure there will be a few more stories before I'm outta there!

Peace. (I'm back)

the office

2009-01-11T17:34:00.000-06:00

For anyone that watches the show "The Office", my workplace is just as dysfunctional, without the humor! I've made it through my initial days post-kick ass supervisor who moved...can you believe she actually left on the anniversary of my dad's death? Tuesday was a tough day!

I've made a few friends at work that help pass the time, but they have dreams of leaving too...its no wonder when you find yourself working in a place with no passwords, VM codes, and the boss has been known to rumage through people's desks and belongings! INSANE! I've started to become a wee bit paranoid and suspect the walls have ears...if I step back to look at all the craziness and extreme personalities (ex. Coworker who has a storage unit full of empty coke cans...and only coke cans!) It's all rather comical and a good start to a bestselling book...but close up its just annoying and stressful.

I'm thankful this week for my sister who is teaming up with me at the gym. This really helps 6am a lot! And it helps relieve some work tension!

May 1, 2009 is the relay for life...I'll soon be sending out the info if you wouldn't mind making a donation...we're walking in remembrance or our friend Lisa who passed away spring 2008.

Alrighty, I'm off to a movie with the movie gang...peace out!

strange tingles

2009-01-01T08:17:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I had a strange last day of 2008. Normally NYE for me means hosting a party, a day off work, and fun reflections. But as I sat at work, until 5pm, I had a strange feeling come over me--regret!

I say this feeling is strange because this time of year I'm able to pinpoint several things in my life that make me feel proud of the last 365 days (and one nano second). That's not to say I don't always have things left on my life to-do list, just that I've made progress!

And then I felt tears welling up in my eyes. True, I've learned some things this year and I cannot deny the many blessings in my life. Its just that I somewhat have a (although flexible so I'm not tied down) plan for my life. A vision of who and what I want in my life. I steadily chip away at road blocks to get there. So this strange sensation, a lack of progress, is unsettling.

I know there must be, or at least I have to believe, there are greater lessons to be learned, a broader scope to be lived than my simple aspirations would have allowed. But sitting at my desk I just felt overwhelmed. Good lord, I'm too young for a midlife crisis!

Instead of my usual recap of events, I'm going with lessons learned this year. I'm trying to make meaning out of my choices.

LESSONS of 2008:

1.). Money, even if it makes paying your student loan possible, doesn't always buy happiness
2.). When in doubt, trust your gut feeling. Its there for a reason
3.). A few good friends are better than many and can often be ones long lost or brand spankin' new
4.). Its ok to say no...to events, people, tasks...I only have so much time and energy and I want it to count!
5.). Sometimes acheiving one goal in life makes another goal harder to attain without you realizing it. Even when you've "done the right thing" or in the "right order" you may find yourself without the things you now really want.
6.). There is nothing more precious than being with your family and nothing more heart wrenching than not
7.). I need to read more. Its fun. And it makes you smarter.
8.). A good supervisor and administration is more valuable than any benefit package.
9.). I'm where I am to learn something...now I just have to figure it out!
10.). Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

That's it folks. Its on to the new year no matter if we like it or not! Its allgoing to be OK. I just know it.

Peace, growth, and refelections in 2009!

praying for peace...

2008-12-30T12:53:00.000-06:00

I've locked myself in my office today! I have clients later on, but I'm trying to stay sane and also get some paperwork done. Yea me!

Some days I feel a little settled here at work, some days I wonder what the heck I was thinking changing jobs (then again I felt a big pull bc of my supervisor who I really admire...and who now is leaving me!). Some days I'm slightly amused by the in your face dysfunctional family feel you get when you walk in the door. Other days I just want to work in a place with less politics. I love my clients. I've got some great coworkers. I'm learning and growing. But there's just something missing for me. Something off. I'm trying my best to give it my all and hope for the best. Hmmmm. What to do?!?

The time with my mom was so much fun. We relaxed and had a great time. If I get some of the pics, I'll post 'em!

Not much else new. I'm reading a great book called "the year of living biblically" by AJ Jacobs. Pick up a copy if can!

All right, back to work...pray for me!

Peace.

missing

2008-12-22T11:52:00.000-06:00

So I feel as though I've gone missing from my life these days...I finally did more than 1 load of laundry yesterday (I had been doing just enough to get by)...I finally dug out some holiday decs...I finally went jogging again.

I need some balance in my life these days...but I work long hours, come home and have supper, watch a little TV and then crash. Weekends I sleep and try to have a little fun. We are cutting our cable to save some money, but I'm also glad bc I'll have less reasons to veg in front of it!

Lots of drama on the work front I'd rather not put in writing. I'm alive...but have lost some of my kick!

Wil and I have talked about moving north again so he can transfer to corporate. But if you've read any news lately, you know the stores aren't doing so well, so we'll have to see how all this plays out.

My mom will be here this week. I'm super excited. I just can't believe Christmas will be here and gone this week! Where has 2008 gone? Crazy.

Have a great last few days of work ( if you have them!).

long time

2008-12-12T11:11:00.000-06:00

Ok. This will be short. I've been meaning to blog but work has been sucking the life out of me! If it can't be viewed at work or on my Blackberry, it doesn't get done...its been weeks since I used the home computer! So here's one more try at submitting this via my cell...if it works I will be blogging more often!

Kosher

2008-09-30T15:35:00.002-05:00

First, I just have to share a quote my mom wrote down for me: "Whenever I am in the cellar of affliction I look around for the wine." Coleridge

Isn't that fabulous?

This week I officially started my new gig. I am pretty happy to be back in a clinic and have MH resources (other clinicians, a psychiatrist, trainings, supervision, etc). I am still a little nervous about the private school aspect (18 hours of my week) because I've never done that kind of social work before...and because it's orthodox, I feel inclined to learn as much as I can about the faith so I can understand the students and culture more.

I found out yesterday, in addition to the wearing long skirts everyday, they also ask everyone (staff included) to eat only kosher food on campus. Luckily I've recently been reading about this so I had some idea of what is and is not OK. But the information I received also made note that even bringing a cup of soda back from a eatery (such as Wendy's) is not permitted b/c it came from a place that was not kosher. There are varying levels of personal observance among the students, but b/c of that, they must observe the highest standard. This affects me little...I only have lunch hours on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I think I will be vegetarian those days b/c its a whole lot easier to abide by kosher practices if you eliminate meat. Thank goodness Kashi and Morningstar products are kosher bc I couldn't live without them!

I am learning a whole lot already! I thought I had some idea about basic principles and faith, but I now realize how little I knew and how much I will need to know...good thing I love being a student. I am thankful my supervisor is my old clincial supervisor...I feel comfortable asking her questions I might otherwise feel stupid asking.

On a side note, My youngest sis is a vegetarian so I've been doing some reading on nutrition for her...come to find out there is a new clasification called "flexitarians" (people who choose vegetarian options but also eat some meat)...turns out I fit that definition! It's kind of fun to say...perhaps I should add that to all my profiles: Flexitarian.

Alright, well, I am off to Hobby Lobby to pick up some thread so I can hem some dress pants. I am on vacation today from all three jobs and doing absolutely NOTHING. Tomorrow (the second day off from the new job) I will be working contract hours for the previous job...so I must savor this time, even if I SHOULD be working on finishing up more paperwork ;)

My niece is here on weekends now while my sister works (and she's a toot!) so this quiet time is quite nice. Hope to see a few of you at the movie tonight...

Peace.

Oh gosh

2008-09-24T17:25:00.002-05:00

This has been a crazy month! It's been forever since I blogged or even checked anyone else's blog!

The last few weeks have been a big ball of emotion and long hours. I am currently juggling 3 jobs: current job, contract job, and new job. Although the hours are not too crazy (50-55/week), it's the emotional toll and the "everyone needs something" hectic-ness of it all that has me plum tired!

I really love my current clients. It is hard terminating with them. Luckily, I am training in my replacement, so I have been able to transition them to her and feel a little more at ease about the whole thing. But it's still tough to say goodbye. Then on the other hand, I am trying to meet new coworkers and kiddos I will be seeing at the new gig. (Head spins). I am still hoping that this is the right decision and a good move for me. I am hoping *cross your fngers* to have my Tuesday nights end at 7pm so I can sometimes make movie night. We shall see. Since they have been great at making arrangements for me to leave early on Mondays and Thursdays for my contract job, I have to be flexible with the other days. But I should still be able to come to at least 2 or 3 in October due to all the holidays.

Ocotber will be a little more of the same..new job, contract job, and contracting some hours with my soon to be ex-job to cover families in counseling while my replacement is on an already planned vacation. Wheew! But never fear, this will not interrupt my plans for an old school haunted backyard campout party! Brewhaha!

Willy's ankle is still a mystery and my grandma is the hospital (prayers please)...

Other than that everything else in my life is in one of 3 categories: sleep, work, buy more skirts. Repeat.

I'll blog more often. I promise. Now off the the park to enjoy some dog time!

Peace.

did i shave my legs for this?

2008-09-07T12:51:00.000-05:00

Normally accepting a better paying job and giving notice to your current gig is a happy occasion. But this past week was a killer for me! Not only did I cry when I gave notice, but I've been tearing up a lot as everyday I see different clients and have to start the termination process with them.
This is truly a bittersweet time for me...leaving work I like in search of even better. Its a crap shoot!

I've begun skirt shopping as I will have to wear a skirt every day that I am at the private school (everyday but Thursdays and holidays). That means I'll also have to shave more often. All I ask is that this transition be a good fit so I don't end up singing a Deana Carter tune. But as nervous as I feel, I can't close the door on a possibility.

Sadly this will mean no more movie night bc that will be one of my clinic nights (unless anyone is up for a movie after 8) bc I am also going to continue contract work on Mondays and Thursdays...a balancing act!. Unless of course it is a holiday Tuesday (there are many Jewish holidays!).

Many thanks to Angela for a great night out and to Heather for kicking it old school with me! And last but not least, to Willy for driving us home as we dozed off singing Avenue Q! Much needed fun after a week that just never seemed to end!

The rest of the weekend we decided to have a pajama party. Willy went and got diet coke, doritos, frozen pizza, and I made cookies. All the perfect snacks for watching movies in bed ALL day. Very nice!

Peace out ya'll!

happy new year.

2008-09-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

Its a new year this week.

Today I accepted a job offer with a local agency as a 1/2 time private school counselor 1/2 time outpatient therapist

Its not that I don't enjoy my current job or that I am treated badly there. In fact, its one of the top places I have worked.

But have you ever looked up into the sky and said "I have no idea how, but we need _____" and then just waited in hope?

When we needed to get a car replaced, I had one of those moments where I was not certain how the money would be in the bank come October. And then, a week ago my clinical supervisor dropped a job, she was hiring for, in my lap. After some time to think and talk about it, its just the door that was meant to open.

Afterall, I wasn't even looking for a job! But guess what...its almost the exact amount extra per month that I need for the car payment.

I am so sad to leave my current gig, but I would be crazy to shut the door on the answer to my prayers. Granted, I thought and prayed Wil would be changing jobs, but who am I to judge a blessing!

Anyway, tomorrow I give notice. Perhaps the hardest notice I've ever given bc I really like my supervisor and clients.

Wish me courage to take this step of faith!

Peace.

Clark Rouch

2008-08-29T18:06:00.001-05:00

The title of this blog comes from yet another funny misspelling of my name. I visited a school w/ a family this week and had to get a visitor pass. After handing over my D.L., for the sake of safety, they print me out that name "Clark Rouch". Yep, that's first and last name!

In other news, I've had quite the roller coaster week. I've seen many doors open and now I'm overwhelmed by that! I hope things will be clear(er) after one more meeting on Tuesday to either close the deal or walk away.

My first month of contract work went well. I'm enjoying that and will enjoy it even more Sept. 15th when I get paid for the first time. Gotta pay for the new wheels!

The Civic was in for a little paint job this week. I missed my little ride! It only took $34 to fill 'er up!

Gots to go. My head hurts from thinkin'. Must go to IKEA ;)

Clark Rouch

2008-08-29T18:06:00.000-05:00

cha-cha-changes

2008-08-25T21:13:00.000-05:00

The past week has blown by. I was so tired after my LONG flight situation from NYC. We've been having mucho car issues...Willy's car was not worth the money to fix bc of labor prices so we took a venture to Carmax Friday night. A few hours later we drove away in a little white Honda Civic. I am SoooOOOoooOOoo excited to be in a small fuel efficient ride! Come October I might not be as excited to pay the car note, but I will definitely be enjoying the ride!

In other news, a possible opportunity has come about and literally fallen at my doorstep. Its not a for sure thing at this point but it seems possible. I am not sure how I feel about it all, but with current debts that continue to get paid down way too slowly, I am not sure it would be wise to say no to something new. I still feel weird and have mixed emotions and in my usual way am obsessing a bit about it all. Hopefulluy by end of week or beginning of next I will know which direction to go. Say a prayer for wisdom!

Peace out.

ode to LGA

2008-08-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

You suck.
You're small.
Your A/c is busted and a small smelly man is standing in front of the only fan.
Your sandwichs are $8, surely bc your flights are always delayed.
Your runways congested. I had to sit on your crappy dirty floors for 5 hours being trammpled.

I hope I will leave you soon. Once again, you suck!

last days in the Big Apple

2008-08-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we relaxed some having walked so much the days before. We went to the MoMA and to get in some culture. Very neat. Then we stopped by Whole Foods and got some deli items to take to Central Park for a picnic and a nap on a blanket for a few hours. Then we hit an independent movie theater in the village to see "Encounters at the end of the earth.".

Today we went to a hospital bc Mari has surgery next week and her pre-op appt. Then we had a New York style slice of pizza and a Beard Papa cream puff. After that we went to Forest Park area in Queens which is beautiful free standing homes with yards. If you didn't know you were in NYC, you'd think you were in the suburbs of Chicago or Dallas.

Off to Dallas tonight. It will be good to get home!

more fun times in NYC

2008-08-12T20:25:00.000-05:00

Avenue Q last night was fabulous! See it if you can...I hope hope hope it comes back to Dallas/Ft Worth so I can see it again. Puppet nudity and sex combined with inappropriate humor is a perfect combination!

Today was a morning in Central Park, walking then followed by boating. Then it was off to Shake Shake to stand in line for 40 minutes for a well worth it burger. Its located in Madison Square Park and literally is just a small stand, but a great treat! After that we took off for the Brooklyn bridge. We walked across it into Brooklyn, visited Mari's temple, roamed the streets...it looked like an episode out of the Cosby show with the brown brick townhomes...very cute! Then we ate famous Grimaldi's coal oven Brooklyn style pizza and a stop at Brooklyn's ice cream shop for homemade ice cream. I think we literally walked about 6 hours today bc we would walk an hour or two at a time. I am so sore and my poor feet have a few blisters :(

2 more days...it will be good to be home but I'll miss the. city!

Peace. I'll be back in the Texas heat soon!

i heart NYC

2008-08-11T15:37:00.002-05:00

It's been awhile since I blogged! I've had trainings for work and lots of new clients as well as putting out my back a few weeks ago. And now, drumroll, my first real vacation in YEARS! By real I mean not seeing extended family for a particular occasion...

So I am in NYC visiting a college friend. I wish Willy was here, but truth be told, a lot of things we have done are "girly" and better enjoyed by female friends. Here's what we've done so far...I am decreeing it is a week of indulgences!

Dylans candy shop
Serendipity's (mmmm frozen hot chocolate)
Outdoor movie on Roosevelt Island
Rode the tram (yea spider man scene)
Pedicures
Shoe shopping
Natural Science Museum scavenger hunt
Sat outside drinking martinis for 3 hours last night
Walked and walked and walked
Museum of Sex (heather, there was a whole section on the history of porn and I thought of you!)

Tonight is Avenue Q. I am so in heaven. I really wish I could liv e here, but I could only imagine how tough that would be to manage! I do love New York though!

Tomorrow we are going to walk the Brooklyn bridge and then get Brooklyn pizza as well as walk central park and get Shake Shack burger (suppossedly the #2 burger in the country) and picnic. Later in the week we'll go to MoMA and get a street vendor lunch. I am sure Mari has a lot more planned. I just said I am here for the ride and to pick some fun places and she sure has! There's been so much good food but I think I am completely burning it off with walking and millions of stairs throughout the subway. My body hurts!

More to come. I wish some of you could join me here :)

if i could sleep in the hallway without getting assaulted...

2008-07-25T03:38:00.000-05:00

So I have been at a conference this week in Austin for work. First you'll want to notice the time stamp on this blog.
Second, let me point out that our agency seemed to cheap out and got us 2 double beds for 3 people. We decided to charge a cot on our tab so I have the little bed up against the window with plenty of roaring cars on 35.

You learn a lot about coworkers when sharing a room. I've been fortunate to really get to know the two people, that also came, much better. Lots of relationship building. That's the good news. The bad? I think I am able to conclude and armchair diagnose one of them with sleep apnea. BAD BAD apnea. I am on my second night of not being able to sleep. Last night I got 3 hrs, tonight I made it to 2.5. If I put in ear plugs I can STILL hear it too well to sleep! I have a hard time getting back to sleep after being startled awake anyway. She did warn she's a "noisy sleeper." That's like calling a prison stay a quaint getaway. I think I'm losing my mind. I pray I can make it through 8 hours of training again tomorrow (ok, well actually today now). I don't want to make her feel bad but its been rough!

I will be SO glad to get home to my puppies and hubby!

(Wishing for) Peace.

simple steps week dos

2008-07-01T00:11:00.000-05:00

I'm a little behind but doing well. I didn't get in all my walking but am ahead in getting organized, having done WAY more than one drawer. Feels good. I even got out the sewing machine and whipped something up for my neice's 1st birthday this week. Just wish I had mailed it sooner!

I have training for work this week. Sometimes its nice to be away. But I feel behind so its a temporary relief. I real hope by getting more organized I won't feel so overwhelmed.

Ok. On to the new steps to add this week:

Keep a food journal

Squeeze in isometrics (exercises without movement where you contract an isolated muscle for say 10 seconds, ex. Your stomach)

Set up a laundry system

Plan a to do list each day

Remember to continue with last weeks too! Good luck!

Peace.

nutty

2008-06-28T08:07:00.003-05:00

I was so glad it was Friday yesterday....at about 5pm that is!

We are still awaiting my mother in law's biopsy results. She sees the doctor on Monday. Her job has already put her on full disability until the end of the year. In the meantime, we found out Wil's great uncle in St. Louis passed away this week, so she will be travelling up to that funeral over the 4th.

Thursday I interviewed for a contract job--a one time a week, 1 hour, group therapist gig for kids that have been sexually abused. One of my old work buddies passed my resume along to her boss (THANKS). Although nothing is in writing, the interview went well, and I was even invited to the 3 hour training I would need to attend. In saying goodbye the woman stated "I will see you later." So it's just a matter of placing me with the right group from the sounds of it. A couple extra hundred dollars a month is nothing to sneeze at...especially since we will need to be looking at replacing Willy's wheels this year yet!

Had my last session with that mom I was worried about. It was a tough one! She is really making progress, just hoping enough seeds were planted and watered during our time together. It was a great growing time for her...but it was also a great learning one for me as well! I will miss sitting on the floor sipping tea. What a strange and wonderful cultural counseling experience. The good news: because of this situation, our agency is evaluating how we can fill the gap for these moms and so we are now trying to collect data to create a new program to serve this type of client. That is the amazing thing about my supervisor/agency. For all the frustration, there is a silver lining (at least).

My mom is *hopefully* awaiting an offer on her house...all these young couples trying to get loan approval...say a prayer that the bank will approve them so she can get herself down here and enjoy our wonderful Texas summer (hehe).

That's my week in a nut shell. I'll post some pics later =)

Peace.

Say a prayer...

2008-06-23T18:06:00.003-05:00

Say a prayer for my mother-in-law. She had found lumps in breasts last week and had a mammogram. The results today point to cancer. She will have a biopsy tomorrow on both to determine what is going on. Wil is in OKC so it's very hard to be away right now.

Keep them both in your thoughts.

Peace.

Week One

2008-06-22T14:32:00.000-05:00

Simple steps for week one:
1.) Drink 8 cups of water/day OR if trying to lose weight drink 4 cups/50 lbs you weigh (ex. 150 lbs=12 cups of water)
2.) Take a 20 minute walk every day, rain or shine. If you already workout this will be an addition, not substitute.

3.) Clean out one drawer, closet, or cabinet every week.
4.) Start saving $2 a day or 1% of your weekly net, whichever is greater. Also save any change you find around the house.

That's it! There are more ideas in the book, but these are the main steps for the first week. Next week 4 more will be added to these and so on. GOOD LUCK!!!

Peace.

Simple Steps

2008-06-21T18:34:00.000-05:00

I picked up a book this week at Half Price. I saw it on an end cap, read the back but kept walking back to the clearance isle. After a few minutes of looking at kids books for work, lo and behold, there it was again! I decided it must be fate and spent all of $2 on it.

The book is called "Simple Steps.". It's not rocket science. It takes 40 healthy habits (health, weight, home, spirit) and puts them into a 10 week program, each week adding a few more. Every Sunday I am going to post the next week's habits. Feel free to join me in a journey to find more peace and wellness and energy...feel free to post a comment if you're joining in so we can work on it together :). More to come...

Peace.

Revelations

2008-06-20T13:00:00.002-05:00

It's been so hard to accomplish things lately at home or work. I've been a bit scattered! I just need to write some of my thoughts out...for myself (what better way then a public blog, huh? LOL)

Wednesday I had my monthly clinical supervision session (which I had missed in both April and May). I almost didn't go because there was a training I had been invited to attend...but it had been SO long that I thought I should get back..only fair to my clinical supevisor who I pay to see...since I have promised to come once a month. It's really like group therapy. I LOVE it.

Staffed a few cases which felt like normal, until I left group and realized all the feelings it had brought to the surface. I figured out my "spring funk!" Cleverly disguised as being overworked, my real problem was what I talk about all friggin' day long to my clients: grief. Granted the past year has been filled with some personal grief, but this was social work grief for a client I have to terminate with next week. Not becuase she isn't making progress...not because she doesn't want to continue...not because I don't think she needs more session...it's just for one reason: the state of Texas (ahem, $$$).

See, in our program, when the parent's child turns 3, regardless of whether there is more work to be done, that's it. Over. Give them some referrals and be on your way. Usually we wind down to a place where both me and the client are feeling OK with the termination. But this particular mama I see is one of those clients that WANTS to make positive changes and we click in a way that she is able to learn/be supported to make changes and is ready to change! Yet, next week when her child turns three it's over, despite the fact she's not quite finished with this change process...I feel as though I helped open her chest to work on her heart only to leave mid surgery! And there is nothing I can do other than try to persuade her to take a referral and prepare her the best I can. She'd love to continue and it would be in her best interest, *I think* (many more facts that I cannot share that would make it tough for her to feel comfortable and access services elsewhere). But my hands are tied.

So I think I've been carrying that around with me the last month, and with no other agency socal workers to get support from...on my own all day long in the community seeing lots of depressed moms. Wil travelling on top of it. Just feeling like everyone I know has problems and so I don't want to add to their grief pots! It was enough to really get me into a funk and slip on my own self care while grieving this situation (good lord, it's been 2 weeks since I went to the gym!). But leaving the group session, as I finally figured it out, I could cry about it (and subsequently cry at my meeting with my work supervisor today). Then, having had a kick ass session with that mom today, I am feeling some relief. Everyone has work stress...but when your job is to help bear some of the weight of another person's problem, there's a special kind of burnout that makes you truly need a "mental health day." It is this everyday experience and drama that binds us social workers together. And probably what stresses out the non-SWers who are close to us and want to help ;)

I picked up some clearance books at Half Price Books (gotta love clearnace on already cheap books)...I found a good one that I think I will write about more...tomorrow. For now, I am off work early and doing some much needed R&R.

Peace.

Testing...1...2...3...

2008-06-09T23:32:00.000-05:00

My first blog via blackberry. Let the good times roll!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

IMG00004.jpg

2008-06-09T22:30:00.001-05:00

Blues fade to...Black

2008-06-07T11:48:00.002-05:00

I've been so under a funk cloud lately with Willy traveling. It's harder on me than I like to admit. To cope, Wil and i have added a new addiction to our lives to fill the void. While most addictions seem to build in intensity, I have to say, this one came out of no where and hit us both hard and fast. In fact, I don't think our lives will ever be the same. I think I may end up spending my weekend engaging with my new love affair...I just can't get enough!!! But don't worry about us...we'll be fine.

You see, last night at about 8:45pm, my blues faded to Black...so seductive,shiny, new, exciting...we had to drive to Rockwall to get our fix because it's so hard to find and then we were up WAY too late because of it...because we are now a part of the BlackBerry community with our new, FABULOUS, BlackBerry Curve smartphones!!!!!!

I can't tell you how great it is! I am hoping this will help me with my work flow (since I work out of my car, seeing families at homes, I am always lost, losing papers in my trunk, away from internet and work e-mail for 8-10 hours/day). But beside that it will also be tons of fun. Move over iPhone, I'm in love with the Curve!

Some of my favorite features are:

GPS (Heather and I may never get lost again!!!)

E-mail (have up to 10 accounts you can access)

TV/Music (MP3 player galore plus commercial free radio and local radio and TV channels...who needs to download a ringer when you can use your own music for special ring!)

Calendar (it's not a Palm, but it might as well be...it's great!)

External Storage (you can use up to 8GB of external storage for photos, music, and more! And it all syncs with your computer for backup)

Facebook (that's right kids, facebook, on my phone!)

AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

I'm a believer, I'm in love...I'm officially a CRACKBERRY user! (If you need me, I'll be programming my phone...for quite some time =) That and staying better connected to my sweet hubby...ahh, technology is grand.

Peace.

Running out of gas

2008-05-28T12:38:00.002-05:00

Anyone else have one of those days that feels impossible to get things done?

I am sure everyone is feeling the gas prices...even worse for those that travel for work. Myself being one of them! Sure I get reimbursed...about a month later...decent rate (or at least used to be)...but it doesn't make it any easier to spend $55 to fill up my 4 door midsize at least once a week. And the IRS simply has not raised the maximum for reimbursement quickly enough if you ask me! (pardon my rant)

So this morning I had every intention of going to my first appt and then to the office (near each other) so I could fax, copy, turn in notes. But the mom cancelled and I am left with two appts this afternoon that are literally within about 5 miles of my house. In the past I would jump in the car and go to the office, happy that I had extra time to get some projects done. Now days I try to work from home when I can(sometimes very productive, sometimes challenging) bc I just don't want to drive 40 miles round trip to go to the office for a few hours when my appts are down the road (I have mixed feelings about this though). Today happens to be one of those challenging work days though...It's been a week...yesterday felt like Monday and today feels like Friday. Crap!

Wil and I had our 8th anniversary on Monday. Usually we have a memorial day bash, but seeing as he had to fly out that afternoon (and I was bummed about it) I decided it was not in the cards this year. He had asked off a long time ago but when travel plans came about he was told he would have to pay his own way to get to his destination on Tuesday if he stayed in town (insert sad emoticon here). Grrr.

I am happy to report (pictures coming soon) that my vegetables are GROWING fast and strong. No buds yet, but the plants/leaves are getting much fuller with all these 90 degree days. I hope to be eating salad real soon!

This morning, when I checked my myspace, I happened to do a search (as I have before) for my long lost little bro (from BB/BS) in Illinois. And there he was. All grown up! I sent him a message. I am hoping he will reply. I am sure I have lost al cool points now that he is in high school, but it would be so great to find out how he is doing. God bless technology!

Alright, my break is over, must make some calls and chart. Wish me productivity!

Stripping, Playboy, Spaghettios, and Wii time

2008-05-06T09:52:00.003-05:00

Saturday was a sad day as Wil started his traveling again for work. I am single for May, pretty much!

His first stop? Hawaii!!! So after I dropped him off at the airport on Saturday afternoon I thought I would head over the the new strip mall area east of us and see what stores had opened up. You know, a little pick me up! It's so great to find both Ross and Marshall's right next door to each other! I bought a few random small things--avocado slicer, honey jar, and a clearance "official" pink playboy bunny jacket for my dog! There is really nothing like carrying around a small dog jacket that says playboy and getting stared at! (Bella looks great in it too! It reminds me of the Girl's Next Door). Next I headed over to the Dollar Tree where in my already "feeling sorry for myself" mode I bought my bachelorette dinner of a can of spaghettios and a pack of M&M's. Before I had checked out, Wil called and said his flight had been cancelled (he'll have to tell that story) so I ended up picking him up. We had an early Cinco de Mayo date night of On the Border, TiVo, Wii play, and watching Dirt. Nice. If only I would not have had to drop him off in the morning!

He's loving the tropical paradise and alrady visited Pearl Harbor and Hard Rock. Lucky! (said in a Napolean Dynamite voice). While on the other hand, I had veggie corn dogs and saw Frankie Valli in concert (good, but not the same as the beach!), and am listening to a thunderstorm outside. And I also did some laundry and picked up dog poo. Where's the justice in that! ;P

Send me some love! And let me know if you want to hang out this month...I'll want some company!

Rock Man

2008-04-18T06:51:00.005-05:00

When I did my practicum in grad school, my supervisor would sometimes go on and on about rocks. See, in his former life he had been both a science teacher and pastor. A deadly combo! But he was so great that the talks about rocks weren't so bad. I remember him telling me about the worst earthquake ever happening in the Missouri/Illinois area in the 1800's. I could hardly believe it! But he talked with such passion about it and the liklihood of it happening again in our lifetime. I thought, "no way!"

I woke up at 5:44am, a victim to NBC5 news text message (not to mention I accidently signed up for the wrong one so I only get Chicago news!!!)...and there it was. A 5.4 earthquake rocked the midwest this morning. I was only half surprised since good old Gary had educated me in so much more than counseling! WOW. So weird.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/04/18/america/Midwest-Earthquake.php

10 things

2008-04-16T08:37:00.003-05:00

OK, Sin, here goes a new blog ;)

10 things that make me oh so happy today:

1.) Lovely roses blooming in the backyard
2.) Thinking about game night this weekend
3.) Egg Beaters, strawberries and Ezekiel 4:9 bread (can you tell I just ate a great breakfast?)
4.) Jogging 1 more minute than last week
5.) Freshly T.P'd lawn (that I don't have to pick up)
6.) A female won BLC--I was on the edge of my seat last night
7.) Sewing machines
8.) Trying something scary and realizing it's fun
9.) MP3 players
10.) Small yellow pools (thanks h-bomb for the ride!)

What's one thing that makes YOU happy today?

Dirt

2008-03-28T12:37:00.003-05:00

The weather has been fantastic this week! I can't tell you (well, if you live in DFW, I don't even have to!) how great it has been. Tuesday, a few of us, saluted Lisa in a McDonald's dinner (one of her favs). Spending time with a few people and remembering her was really nice, not to mention Jay dancing on the table and giving everyone the evil eye (she does this squint thing when you don't do something she wants, its hilarious).

Wednesday rolled around and I found myself needing to do a project, so I hit up Lowe's on my lunch break. I had really meant to just get some shimmies and a screen for the back door (darn bugs), but ended up buying a shovel, garden rake, seeds, compost, and fertilizer (thanks to mom for the laundry list of essential items to start some plants). Came home and started digging up those aweful, sad looking, small, bushy plants along the sidewalk out back, tilling the soil by hand, adding the compost and fertilizer, etc (awww, better than yoga for relaxing). Hopefully this weekend I will be able to plant along there as well as dig up the other two mini flower bed areas out back. All in all, I am very happy with the thought of weeding, watering and hopefully producing a few veggies and flowers all by myself. Life.

That's it from here. Have a great weekend...perhaps I will post some pics of my project when it is complete.

Peace.

There's something about Lisa...

2008-03-24T07:30:00.004-05:00

I learned yesterday that a dear friend passed away Saturday from cancer. In my gut I didn't feel surprise because the last few weeks I had not heard much from her or her husband and I knew the cancer had spread. But my eyes and heart don't seem to have the same logic, nor would I want them too.

Lisa was one of those people. I think, if you've ever known someone like this, the rest of my feeble attempt to describe her is not needed.

We didn't know each other for years and years. It's been less than 2 years. We didn't see each other everyday or even talk every week. But from the moment you begin a conversation with someone who has that "something," none of the details matter. Lisa was always in the present. She would lean in close to every detail of a conversation and lean back for a good chuckle about even the smallest joy. Smart, witty. She led with her heart, told it to you from her gut, and didn't stop until she had convinced you that "yes, I am special! Yes, I can do it!" There was just something about her that the world needed and will greatly miss. That I will greatly miss. She was tenacious. She loved life. She was LIFE. She was light in any room. She was just Lisa, every moment, every time, every day.

Peace.

Natural Well-being

2008-03-23T09:27:00.010-05:00

"Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness." Eckhart Tolle

This quote really hit me this week and I've been thinking about it a lot. Thought I would share it. When I saw the words "Freedom from unhappiness," all I could say was "huh, wow."

Yesterday Jay and fam came over to have brunch (which ended up nt being cooked until noon, so I guess it was lunch!) and dye easter eggs. I am a new garden hose owner (so much fun having a piece of lawn!) and the most fun of all was Jay discovering it. I've included a few photos. Gosh she's cute. It sure makes me miss my other niece not being here. I think we will soon be investing in a kiddie pool for summer...what a great afternoon. There is no better way to feel well than get muddy with a 1-year-old. It brought me back to that quote I had read days before. Sometimes I think kids and pets have way more to teach me than any other group of beings.

Peace.

1943

2008-03-13T19:34:00.003-05:00

My mom sent this as a forward--a magazine that republished a 1943 article. One time it would have paid, literally, to be "husky." Wow. That's all I can say! (Just click on the image and it should open a new larger window of the piece)

The Perfect Day

2008-03-03T22:17:00.006-06:00

If there could be a perfect day, today would be pretty close, for two reasons that make me feel pure happiness. Today's blog will be in pictures. I'm no professional (in photography!) but I think they still speak for themselves.

Peace.

Barack Rocks

2008-03-01T10:45:00.004-06:00

"Obama rocks my face off" could have been an alternative title to this blog! H-bomb and myself ventured into Ft Worth Thursday night for the Obama rally. In case you don't know yet, we got asked/selected to sit behind the podium in the bleachers!!! I think I almost wet my pants when the secret service guy asked us and gave us "the mark" which consisted of initials and an "X" in blue sharpie...not much to look at as a symbol goes, but by showing it through several check points it got us the VIP area (ok, maybe we were not VIP, but we sure felt like it!). AMAZING. We are in several pics (although VERY small!) and got about 5 seconds of on air time on FOX (trust me though, I had to rewind to find us, so no one else would be able to pick us out without help). It matters not...we were there and had a blast. For Heather's account and a picture (more coming though), see her blog link:

http://holymanontoast.blogspot.com/2008/02/oh-my-god-coolest-night-ever.html

Wil is back from Cali for 2 days until he heads out to East texas...I am still studying for the ever approaching boards...Work is SOOO busy I don't know how to fit all the clients in...my closet remains unpacked...in a nutshell, not much else new here! Have a great weekend ya'll.

Peace.

The single life

2008-02-23T17:56:00.002-06:00

I just dropped the hubby off at the airport. He's off for sunny California (Bay area) for the week.

I am always sad he's gone and glad when he gets back. But having left the apartment life and being in a house now, it doesn't feel as bad (sorry baby!). Good lord, I have more than enough to do while he is gone (as I think about that BIG storage closet upstairs that has yet to be rangled into a manageable mess, dogs to groom, cleaning to do, and cranking out some hours studying for my boards...not to mention work charting).

I took a practice exam for the boards this week and got a 74%. So if I start studying, hopefully that will go up. 70% is passing, so this should be a good sign. Expect a blog sometime in the next few months or so about me *hopefully* passing! I know I should be hitting the books even harder, but I feel little motivation about it. I want to pass, but the studying is getting me down! Maybe my positive energy will be enough??? =)

Been hitting the gym the last few weeks. I am getting into a better sleep routine...having to get up at 5:30 everyday makes me ready for bed by 9:30! But I am enjoying going (something I never thought I would like).

My sister made it legal with her man (and baby in tow) on Wednesday. The JP was really good and I got girly and cried during the vows. I am very proud and happy for them. Haha...another man suckered into our family!

Not much else of interest going on here. I like it that way! Wil's knee is doing great (he's been hitting the gym too) so that is good news for us.

Peace.

Life is so Punny!

2008-02-16T10:04:00.003-06:00

Things are well here in Euless. After a few months of reverting back to taking care of everyone but me, I am back to taking some time for myself and I can tell that it makes me feel so much better. It's a challenge sometimes to keep that in focus.

Wil and I had v-day last night since Thursday was BEFORE pay day and we were broke (gosh, still trying to catch up from when he was off work). It was the perfect night...went and worked out together (ask him how much he liked the "random hill" setting on the treadmill I challenged him to!), papa murphey's pizza at home, and catching up on TiVo. Gifts? A new scale that he can use now instead of going to GNC every week and fun new striped sheets. It's easy to feel "happy" during times of great excitment, drama, good fortune. But I love the feeling of being absolutely happy in the boring moments because I realize just how happy I am...sappy, I know. I love you Willy!

I started drinking green tea vs. diet coke (well, at least 9 times out of 10). It's not quite the same but I hope the healthy part of this change is worth it! I do miss my fizzy,caramel colored lover!

It's rainy here, so I thought I would end this with some puns...my favorite way to feel good. Enjoy!

Peace.
______________________

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says 'A beer please, and one for the road.'

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!'

I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. 'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.'Because, he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he had bad breath. This made him...A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Thoughts of Love

2008-02-14T10:29:00.002-06:00

Whether you like valentines day or not, today can be a day of love--for ourselves. Treat yourself to something nice or at least a loving thought to yourself. Below are some thoughts from others that have touched me today.

Peace.
_______________________________________________________________________
A beggar had been sitting by the side of the road for thirty years.
One day a stranger walked by."Spare some change?" mumbled the beggar.
"I have nothing to give you," said the stranger. Then he asked: "What's that you're sitting on?"
"Nothing, " replied the beggar. "Just an old box. I've been sitting on it for as long as I can remember.
"Ever look inside?," asked the stranger.
"No," said the beggar. "What's the point, there's nothing in there."
"Have a look inside," insisted the stranger. The beggar, reluctantly, managed to pry open the lid. With astonishment, disbelief, and elation, he saw that the box was filled with gold.
I am that stranger who has nothing to give you and who is telling you to look inside. Not inside any box, as in the parable, but somewhere even closer: inside yourself.

Eckhart Tolle
_____________________________________________________________________________

Love, compassion, and concern for others are real sources of happiness. With these in abundance, you will not be disturbed by even the most uncomfortable circumstances. If you nurse hatred, however, you will not be happy even in the lap of luxury. Thus, if we really want happiness, we must widen the sphere of love.

Dalai Lama

What? A weekend with nothing to do?

2008-02-09T09:55:00.000-06:00

OMG...I am SOOOOO happy to have nothing to go to this weekend! I love socializing...but it's been a while since I had 2 days that I could get some personal stuff done. On the list this weekend:

--Check out new gym (finally broke down and got a membership...went this morning and I am hooked! SO much better than the little crappy apartment office one!)

--Grocery Shop

--Groom pets...2 weeks overdue, poor babies! But it's a process with Tyson the fearful nut job

--Study for license boards (yikes)

--Catch up on progress notes for work

-Start 2nd season of Big Love (on DVD...so good...see it!)

--Do some more unpacking

And that's it! Maybe some cleaning if i feel like it...but with NO company this weekend, I may live in little filth and relax! Praise be, it's beautiful outside too.

What a great weekend!

Peace.

Guilty Pleasure

2008-01-30T08:19:00.000-06:00

Gosh, it's been awhile since I blogged! January has whizzed by! I have been pretty caught up at work, having gotten myself a bit behind over the holidays, and trying to dig myself out. I am almost there though, so yippee! Holiday time is usually a little busy in terms of people being stressed and mental health issues intensify...so I was BUSY with some families that were "on the edge." Sometimes you feel like the warm fuzzies (those guilty pleasures you get from seeing CHANGE in your clients) are few and far between. This week I caught one, when a mom told me she felt hopeful for the first time in her life, and it's made everything feel just a little bit happier. I must savor this feeling as there is no way to know when it will happen next!

Seems like every weekend since we have moved (except for the 2 weekends we were SICK) have been packed with stuff to do. I keep looking at boxes in my bedroom and have no energy to do anything about them at this point. I guess that's the nice thing about having 2 levels...I can forget about the boxes until I walk upstairs...and most of the time I am upstairs I am asleep =)

Willy turns 35 on Sunday and then starts his (most likely) massive travelling again for work. I'll be a "single girl" during the weeks he is gone...so if anyone wants to do dinner or go shopping or just hang out...let me know!!! Maybe I'll actually get out my craft supplies and start some projects or get out that study guide for my exam. It'll still be lonely!

Texas state board strikes again!

2008-01-10T06:19:00.000-06:00

So I get a call Monday afternoon from the state board informing me they are processing my license upgrade (yea! good news) only to find I do not have a current LMSW (umm, ok...) because it is expired.

Hmm, that's interesting because I renewed in November (although have not rec'd my sticker yet) and the payment went through my bank the very next day. The woman who left the message was very nice and left a pesonal ext. to call (much to my surprise). So I attempt to call the 800# from work and from my cell and get the message "this number is not available from your calling area" even though Wil is able to dial from home. I look up the Austin local number and use that only to not be able to get through. For a whole day I attempted to get through but hearing a busy tone each time. I finally got through at 12.59pm Tuesday and hear "To serve you better, we are currently closed for lunch and will return at 1:00pm," then the number cuts me off. I call back in 30 seconds and it's busy again!!! Once a get through, 4 hours later and probaly 50 minutes of my cell phone minutes used from all the attempts, I get her voicemail and explain my situation. Yesterday she returned the call saying that the online system doesn't always work and it "loses" applications from time to time even though the applicant gets a receipt and that she would need a tracking number from my receipt. I called back and left the # on her voicemail so she can research it.

I'm not too upset or surprised...thankful she has been nice, but so frustrated over the whole system of getting through and getting licensed! Maybe this time next year I will finally have a license!!!! Grrr....that's my rant for the day. Thanks for listening!

grepet

2008-01-06T18:15:00.000-06:00

I'm adopting H-bomb's slogan..."2008...it's gonna be great!"

We had a fabulous party at our place filled with games, Wii play, food, fun...until 4am! I was SO tired the next day, only proving I am getting old!

Work has been stressful lately...alot more to do all of a sudden and more intense emotional cases. I need to figure out how to balance the current load and develop the position into what I think it COULD be...so that I am best utilized...it's darn hard trying to figure out how to a job that is new to the agency too.

Have I mentioned that I LOVE our new digs? I love the space we have to entertain...Wil and I feel so blessed to have found some cool peeps to hang with in Texas...and thanks to Heather we now have a table too! Thanks dude...we appreciate it! More "rule" Uno coming soon!

Today marks the anniverary of my dad's death. Nomer and I (plus our families) went to A&W this afternoon (my dad's favorite...he loved rootbeer, cheeseburgers and fries). It was nice to remember and toast him with a frosty mug (I even resisted dropping one in my bag for the road ;). I can't believe it's been a whole year--still missing you dad!

Gosh, I know January is just another month, but there is something to this new year thing this time around. Life has changed so much this past year and it seems that we, and many friends, had a rough 2007...but I've made it through...we all have! Life is a little different now...I am a little different now...

"Norskie's have more fun" is a magnet I have on my fridge. But I also like how some of the Norwegian language translates. So in addition to "2008 is gonna be great," and to keep this entry short and simple, I'll add just one word to sum up 2007: Grepet. It's norwegian for "emotionally moved." I could recall events in great detail, but that says what I'm feeling looking back at each hill and valley.

Happy New Year folks. Peace.

FRESH

2007-12-28T16:57:00.000-06:00

Wow. Christmas has come and gone! My siser from El Paso and her fam (including new cute niece)spent the 22nd-Christmas morning with us. SO much fun! I miss my niece already though! Christmas eve was our family dinner with us three oldest sisters and our families. Jay and Sedona got to meet each other...they are growing up SO fast! I cooked too much food (hello, this is me we're talking about) and we wished my mama and the other two siblings were here...but other than that is was a wonderful day. My neice Sedona looks almost identical to my dad's baby pics...it made me tear up several time bc she has his smile 100%....it's nice to know he's still represented though =)

Christmas day was spent with Wil's family. It was also a nice time, despite the ever so clever hidden agenda that went something like this (L=Wil's mom, W=Wil, J=me):

L: So I bet it was real nice having your nieces around, kids in the house...
J: It sure was.
L: William, am I gonna get a Christmas gift next year?
W; What do you mean?
L: There's only one thing I want next year...
W: (puzzled look)
L: Jenny, can you tell him what I want from you?
J: (uncomfortable gaze at Wil)
L: (to Jenny)You know you're not getting any younger. You'll be 30 next year.
J: I turned 30 this year
L: See, 31, even older. What's taking so long? I want a grandbaby for Christmas
J: Not happening this year, sorry.
w: (completely tuned out now and trying to change subject)

The conversation went on for what seemed to be years and she reminded me she hasn't brought it up for quite some time (and I liked it that way!!!)

OLD? Come on!!!! I know so many people that don't have kids until like 35-40...people don't even get married until then now (I know I got married young, but why does that pre-qualify me to have to pop one out NOW! Good lord...then I notice the next day that almost ALL the pics from the entire xmas season involve only children and adults who have children...apparently being married doesn't make you a whole family. uggghhh. I can only imagine if I was actually trying (and I am not), and having fertility issues, how horrific it would be to hear people say some of those things! I swear I will try to refrain from asking people about personal business like that!

Work this week felt like forever...crammed in appts but didn't around to half of what I wanted to...blast...I am taking Monday off, but I am going to end up spending a few hours on work anyway.

Alright, I am off to second coat my new SILVER coffee table....it was teal...and now with the help of spray paint, it's shiny and new....and smells good too ( don't worry, I am painting out in the cold, not indoors =)

Mix Tape

2007-12-21T08:01:00.000-06:00

I've never been a bah hum bug...I LOVE Christmas. I LOVE decorating, having people over, cooking. These year is somewhere in between happiness and sadness. I want to enjoy it but I also want it to be over with! I'm probably fooling myself, but I figure if I can just get January 6th over and done with, it might help close this first year after my dad's death and get me a bit further down the road. I guess we'll see.

Wil returned to work today!!!!!!!!! This is good news bc now he will be returning to regular pay. Still have to see about the ACL, but this is a step in the right direction for now.

Cookie party came and went and I have so many good cookies in my freezer! Which will come in handy for xmas and new years eve. Thanks to those of you who made it! Next year will be better...since we'll be settled in and hopefully life will be a bit mroe calm.

My sister and her family is coming up from El Paso this weekend and spending xmas eve with us. It will eb a few short days, but I am SOOOOO excited to see her and spend time with the niece I don't get to see. Let the spoiling begin!

I am so exhausted these days bc work has been BUSY long days. But the good news is that I am also sleeping better than ever =) Wil and I agree...the new place, although more rent, is so relaxing. We feel so peaceful and settled and happy here. Gosh, I just feel so blessed to be here and am so looking forward to having lots o' people over. Want to come over? Let me know!

Tonight begins my tour of duty in terms of making my favorite norse goodies...lefse, krumkake...mmmm....couldn't have christmas without it...my mom made a killing this season selling her goods (haha, lefse you dirty minds!)...for any of you who have it it looks like a tortilla (made of potato) but is a much more involved process to create. In the north country people know it and love it...they sell it in the grocery stores too...but homemade can sell for $15-20 per dozen!!! It's potato gold. So since it's less common down here, we just need to find some scandinavians who have a hankering for lefse and make some extra cash...if you know anyone interested, my mom is looking to cook up a storm next holiday season! Any she only charges $12/dozen!

God Speed, Little Envelope

2007-12-13T18:19:00.000-06:00

Well, it's done. I have sent off my licensure forms to the state. Now the waiting begins! I am hoping that I will soon get my new sticker for my old license (renewed last month). I am thinking this might better help me predict how slow they are processing paperwork these days.

I've had some refreshing new clients lately. People that are really ready to make some changes and WANT therapy. I gain something from each client, but it's nice sometimes to have those motivated ones that you see making changes before your eyes. Anyway, i guess that's a sidenote. But it makes me realize why I could potentially LOVE my job (not just like it) if I can just get my job description tweaked so counseling is what I do exclusively (and get rid of the other stuff I am doing now).

I am SO excited for the cookie exchange at my place this weekend. Sad a few people have other plans/events, but we will make the most out of it with whoever shows...yea for naughty hot cocoa!

Wil is making some progress and stated PT. He is off crutches and moving around and driving. Monday is another followup with the doctor.

Alrighty, I am off to make pancakes...yummy breakfast for supper. I love me some flannel PJ's, fuzzy slippers, and syrupy goodness on a cold night.

Peace.

Christmas Miracles (?)

2007-12-08T18:09:00.000-06:00

Sick this weekend and have managed to also give it to my recovering hubby! Darn daycare kids I see...those places are germ havens and I seem to catch it easily.

Finally opened up the money management program after ignoring it the last two weeks (usually we are looking at it daily)...I knew it was not gonna be what I wanted to see so I have been in denial! It's gonna be a slim xmas this year...no gifts to be given...not even $5 night a the movies...just trying to survive at this point.

After 6 weeks of modified pay from Wil's work (did anyone else realize how much they tax workers comp? WOW is all I can say), the expenses of having two residences this month, top it off with some car repairs this weekend, we finally had to tap into our savings. Breaks my heart, but what can you do? That's what it is there for, but it makes me feel uneasy.

I am trying to keep in mind that all of this happening right now is potentially a blessing not understood [yet]. Having seen the pictures of Wil's knee from the inside (just ask Wil to see 'em!) I can see that this injury was probably inevitable...and boy, in retrospect I am glad it happened at work and that we have some income and medical covered. I can only imagine it having happened during our move and then having no pay after he would have blown through his PTO, going through our own insurance, etc. Perhaps we already received our Christmas miracle but have just been too busy bitching about the situation to step back and see it.

It has just been a surreal time for me. Certainly Wil's injury was never life threatening, but it's really triggered for me past crap that I keep think I have moved on from...only to show me I have more work to do with managing my emotions in healthy ways. [I know I am rambling...I get so used to listening and processing other people's issues at work that I sometimes write mine out alot better than saying them].

November through January is the tough part of the year for me ever since my 7th bday when my dad was first hospitalized (he was released that first time right before thanksgiving). A few years later my grandpa died during Decemeber. Last thanksgiving was the last time I saw my dad and he died right after New Years last year. My worst fear in the world is to have a sick husband and have to go through half of what my mom did. I don't have kids, no farm to run, and Wil is OK. So it's not even close to what it was like when I was a kid. But all of this happening around this time of year has been tough and a flood of hard times I try to block out.

[deep breaths]

but the christmas lights are on the bushes outside and cookies will start to be baked next weekend. My nieces will both be here for xmas eve. December will pass and with it some of intensity I should expect at this time of year.

I was put in charge of this month's peer supervision activity. I won't give it all away (the craft part at least), but it involves 3 questions. If you'd like to reply with your answers or just think about it, feel free.

A lesson, a hope, and a promise

1.) What is one major lesson you have learned this year?
2.) What is one hope you have at this moment in time?
3.) What is one promise you want to make for the year coming up?

Enough writing. I feel better now =)

Peace.

"Saltines never tasted so good"

2007-12-05T15:16:00.000-06:00

Wil had his surgery today and we are finally home...almost 9 hours later! The procedure itself was only about 1 hour...but you know how that goes!

Everything went fine and they were glad he had to go "pee-pee" (as the nurse called it) before he left. Wil had not eaten for about 18 hours, so he was very glad to eat some crackers. He even said "saltines never tasted so good." His followup appointment is on Friday afternoon.

We continue to be disappointed by the doctor's bedside manner. You get this gut feeling he still does not believe Wil really injured himself at work. Not to mention the fact I have met and talked with him 3 times and this morning he actually shakes my hand and introduces himself asking "have we met yet?" He's just a tool and makes it clear he has no time to waste answering questions.

During the surgery they found a completely torn ligament which will require a separate surgery. The doctor said this was an old injury. Wil has told him that he has never had any pain in his knee until this injury, but we were told workers comp "won't buy that." Hmmmm, as far as we are concerned we're just being honest about Wil's history and inquiring why he might not have never had ANY problems in the past yet have had a [silent] past injury (not asking about payment, just details on the MEDICAL issue). No explanation other than "they won't buy that, there's no way he could have torn that just walking around". I mean, I'm no doctor, maybe it is an old injury, but it's strange. So, I attempted to ask a few more questions about what the next surgery would be like--I was shut down. Mind you, we have NO choice in who we see...this is the workers comp doctor Wil's company uses in this area for this type of injury. Well, if we go through our own insurance, we are certainly not going back to him! It would definitely be a more invasive operation and 6 months PT afterwards. Note to self: Must get second job!

Anyway, Wil is home and propped up and doped up...happily watching Jeopardy. Thanks for all your positive thoughts today! Hoping for a speedy recovery!

Is it Monday again?

2007-12-03T06:11:00.001-06:00

Weekends are too short! Friday night I got home late from work (7pm) which I swear is the reason my weekend went too fast! Saturday I felt like crap and had planned on running errands and going to concert, but after half of the errands were done I felt like I was going to fall over, so I ended up at home.

Home is great! Unpacking, not so great...so I have decided that from here on out (until things ease up with the hubby injury situation and my own work exploding/busy) I am going to store some boxes not needed just yet in my fabulous and rather empty storage closet. I just can't get them all unpacked on the weekends (and rest) by 12/16 when I am having a party...so closet, get ready for some boxes!

Wil's surgery is Wednesday...I am nervous, but more about the potential findings (a possible second surgery accoding to the doc if he also finds a ligament torn). Grrr. So think of Wil this week and say a prayer it is NOTHING else and he will be able to return to work soon...for his sanity if nothing else! November was a LOOOONG month...

Alright, off to do paperwork (it's freakin 6am, but I have SO much to turn in today I have to get crackin)!

Peace.

Today

2007-11-28T07:12:00.000-06:00

Wow, I thought today was important just because it's my birthday! But looky looky at all the other things that have happened on November 28th...I've bolded my favorites below this post...

Pretty much moved into our house. Just a few closets left at the apartment to clean out...but oh the unpacking I have to do now! It's fun unpacking though...much more fun than the move part! our move day was cold and rainy the whole day. Despite that, 8 people helped us move...I think we would still be unloading if they hadn't shown! We followed with pizza and guitar hero. I think it was the most fun I've had moving...everyone was so positive (just what we needed!)...we feel pretty darn blessed and can't wait to have many people over again!

On a sad note, now that almost everything is over here, we have yet to find our camcorder...we noticed during packing that it was not where we had left it (by our living room media area) but figured it would turn up. It hasn't! Which makes me sad bc the only thing we can conclude is someone jacked it from us...but we have only had people over who we know (or my sister knows)and we really don't [want to] think it was any of them!

We also just got internet again (freakin time warner...I will let Wil blog about that one!)

Alright...a busy day at work...so I better get ready...I wish it were Saturday!

Peace.

__________________________________________________________________

Today in History- November 28

Happy Birthday to:
1757 William Blake, poet (Songs of Innocence)
1923 Gloria Grahame, actress (The Bad and the Beautiful, Oklahoma!, It’s a Wonderful Life)
1927 Chuck Mitchell, actor (Porky from Porky's)
1929 Berry Gordy, Founder of Motown Records (which he sold for $61 million)
1931 Hope Lange, actress ("The Ghost and Mrs. Muir", Peyton's Place, Bus Stop)
1943 Randy Newman, composer (score for Toy Story, "Short People", "Mama Told Me Not To Come")
1949 Alexander Godunov, ballet dancer/actor (Die Hard, The Money Pit)
1949 Paul Shaffer, band leader ("Late Show with David Letterman")
1950 Ed Harris, actor (Apollo 13, The Rock, The Right Stuff, A Beautiful Mind)
1952 S. Epatha Merkerson, actress ("Law & Order", Lackawanna Blues)
1959 Judd Nelson, actor (St. Elmo’s Fire, The Breakfast Club)
1962 Jane Sibbett, actress (Carol from "Friends")
1962 Jon Stewart, comedian ("The Daily Show")
1988 Scarlett Pomers, actress ("Reba", "Star Trek: Voyager")

Deaths:
1939 James Naismith, creater of basketball
1976 Rosalind Russell, actress (His Girl Friday, The Women)
1977 Trevor Bardette, actor (Dick Tracy)
1983 Christopher George, actor (El Dorado)
1986 Herb Vigran, actor ("Gunsmoke")
1967 Anna Nicole Smith, model/ actress ("The Anna Nicole Show")

Events:
1520 Magellan names the Pacific Ocean.
1919 Lady Astor becomes first female to hold a seat in the House of Commons

November 28, 1997 Final episode of "Beavis and Butt-head," on MTV
November 28, 1995 James Brady, former white house press sect, suffers a heart attack
November 28, 1994 Norway votes against joining European Union
November 28, 1993 "Gray's Anatomy" opens at Beaumont Theater New York City for 13 performances
November 28, 1993 "Mixed Emotions" closes at John Golden Theater New York City after 48 performances
November 28, 1993 81st CFL Grey Cup: Edmonton Eskimos defeats Winn Blue Bombers, 33-23
November 28, 1993 Carlos Reina wins Honduras presidential election
November 28, 1990 Margaret Thatcher resigns as Britain's PM, replaced by John Majors
November 28, 1989 Rickey Henderson signs record $3,000,000 per year Oak A's contract
November 28, 1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci flees to Hungary
November 28, 1988 Picasso's "Acrobat and Harlequin" sells for $38.46 million
November 28, 1987 South African Airways Boeing 747 crashes into Indian Ocean, 159 die
November 28, 1986 Hilbert van der Duim skates 1 hour world record 39.4928 km
November 28, 1986 Reagan administration exceeds SALT II arms limitations for 1st time
November 28, 1986 NBC's Ahmad Rashad marriage proposal is accepted by Phylicia Ayers-Allen during halftime of Det Lions-New York Jets football game
November 28, 1985 6th Belgium government of Martens forms
November 28, 1983 9th Space Shuttle Mission Columbia 6 is launched
November 28, 1982 "Pirates of Penzance" closes at Uris Theater New York City after 772 performances
November 28, 1982 70th CFL Grey Cup: Edmonton Eskimos defeats Toronto Argonauts, 32-16
November 28, 1982 71st Davis Cup: USA beats France in Grenoble (4-1)
November 28, 1981 "Merrily We Roll Along" closes at Alvin Theater New York City after 16 performances
November 28, 1981 Bear Bryant wins his 315th game to out distance Alonzo Stagg and become college football's winningest coach
November 28, 1979 "King of Schnorrers" opens at Playhouse Theater New York City for 63 performances
November 28, 1979 Air New Zealand DC-10 crashes into Mt Erebus on Antarctica kills 257
November 28, 1979 Los Angeles Dodger Rick Sutcliffe wins NL Rookie of Year
November 28, 1978 44th Heisman Trophy Award: Billy Sims, Oklahoma (RB)
November 28, 1978 Reds fire manager Sparky Anderson after 9 years
November 28, 1976 64th CFL Grey Cup: Ottawa Rough Riders defeats Saskatchewan, 23-20
November 28, 1975 Democratic Republic East-Timor proclaimed
November 28, 1975 Test Cricket debut of Michael Anthony Holding, WI vs. Australia Brisbane
November 28, 1975 Wings release "Venus and Mars/Rock Show" medley
November 28, 1974 Bowie Kuhn suspends George Steinbrenner for 2 years
November 28, 1974 John Lennon's last concert appearance (Elton John concert in MSG New York City)
November 28, 1973 Arab League summit in Algiers recognizes Palestine
November 28, 1973 Baltimore Oriole Al Bumbry wins AL Rookie of Year
November 28, 1972 "Via Galactica" opens at Uris Theater New York City for 7 performances
November 28, 1972 Los Angeles Dodgers trade Frank Robinson to California Angels
November 28, 1971 "Me Nobody Knows" closes at Helen Hayes Theater New York City after 587 performances
November 28, 1971 59th CFL Grey Cup: Calgary Stampeders defeats Toronto Argonauts, 14-11
November 28, 1970 58th CFL Grey Cup: Montreal Alouettes defeat Calgary Stampeders, 23-10
November 28, 1969 Ted Sizemore becomes 7th Dodger to win NL Rookie of Year
November 28, 1968 John Lennon is fined 150 pounds for unauthorized drug possession
November 28, 1967 33rd Heisman Trophy Award: Gary Beban, UCLA (QB)
November 28, 1967 The 1st pulsating radio source (pulsar) detected
November 28, 1966 Coup in Burundi overthrows monarchy; a republic is declared
November 28, 1966 Dominican Republic adopts constitution
November 28, 1965 Browns' Leroy Kelly sets club record for most punt return yds (109)
November 28, 1965 Kathy Whitworth wins LPGA Titleholders Golf Championship
November 28, 1964 52nd CFL Grey Cup: BC Lions defeats Hamilton Tiger-Cats, 34-24
November 28, 1964 France performs underground nuclear test at Ecker Algeria
November 28, 1964 Mariner 4 launched; 1st probe to fly by Mars
November 28, 1963 1st million copy record prior to release "I Want to Hold Your Hand"
November 28, 1963 Beatles "She Loves You" returns to #1 on U.K. record chart
November 28, 1963 Crusher beats Verne Gagne in St. Paul, to become NWA champ
November 28, 1963 WHNT TV channel 19 in Huntsville, AL (CBS) begins broadcasting
November 28, 1962 Telegraph between Netherlands and Indonesia restored
November 28, 1961 Ernest Davis is 1st black to win Heisman Trophy
November 28, 1961 General Meeting of United Nations debates about New-Guinea
November 28, 1961 Martin Walser's "Der Abstecher," premieres in Munich
November 28, 1960 CBS radio expands hourly news coverage from 5 to 10 minutes
November 28, 1960 Mauritania gains independence from France (Natl Day)
November 28, 1959 47th CFL Grey Cup: Winn Blue Bombers defeats Hamilton Tiger-Cats, 21-7
November 28, 1959 KOMC (now KSNK) TV channel 8 in McCook - Oberlin, NB (NBC) begins
November 28, 1959 Pope John XXIII publishes encyclical Princeps Pastorum
November 28, 1958 AL announces Opening Day in 1959 will be earliest ever, April 9
November 28, 1958 Chad becomes an autonomous republic within French community
November 28, 1958 Congo and Mauritania become autonomous members of French Community
November 28, 1958 George "Punch" Imlach becomes coach of NHL's Toronto Maple Leafs
November 28, 1958 KCOO (now KABY) TV channel 9 in Aberdeen, SD (ABC) begins broadcasting
November 28, 1958 Test Cricket debut for Wes Hall, vs. India at Bombay
November 28, 1958 U.S. reports 1st full-range firing of an ICBM
November 28, 1957 "Look Homeward, Angel" with Anthony Perkins premieres in New York City
November 28, 1957 Warren Spahn of the Braves wins Cy Young Award
November 28, 1956 Photography begins on "... and God Created Women"
November 28, 1955 KMVI (now WMAU) TV channel 12 in Wailuku, HI (IND) begins broadcasting
November 28, 1955 KTHV TV channel 11 in Little Rock, AR (CBS) begins broadcasting
November 28, 1954 1st pro football game in Netherlands
November 28, 1954 Cleveland Browns' Horace Gillom sets club record with 80-yard punt
November 28, 1954 KCKT (now KSNC) TV channel 2 in Great Bend, KS (NBC) 1st broadcast
November 28, 1953 "Wish You Were Here" closes at Imperial Theater New York City after 597 performances
November 28, 1953 41st CFL Grey Cup: Hamilton Tiger-Cats defeats Winn Blue Bombers, 12-6
November 28, 1951 John Van Druten's "I am a Camera," premieres in New York City
November 28, 1951 Military coup under Col Adib el-Shishakli in Syria
November 28, 1950 Walter O'Malley fires Burt Shotton as Dodgers manager
November 28, 1949 "Texas, Li'l Darlin'" opens at Mark Hellinger New York City for 293 performances
November 28, 1948 "Hopalong Cassidy" premieres on TV
November 28, 1948 1st Polaroid camera sold
November 28, 1946 French government of Bidault, resigns
November 28, 1946 Landverrader Anton Mussert to death sentenced
November 28, 1945 Aust Services draw second Victory Test Cricket vs. India at Calcutta
November 28, 1944 1st allied ship sails into Schelde Antwerp
November 28, 1944 400 Rotterdammers attack coal warehouse
November 28, 1944 Hal Newhouser is named AL MVP
November 28, 1944 In reprisal 40 Dutch men are executed by Nazis
November 28, 1944 U.S. 121st Infantry regiment occupies Hurtgen
November 28, 1943 FDR, Churchill and Stalin met at Tehran to map out strategy
November 28, 1942 500 die in a fire that destroyed Cocoanut Grove nightclub in Boston
November 28, 1942 Cocoanut Grove nightclub fire kills 602 (Boston Mass)
November 28, 1941 German troops vacate Rostov
November 28, 1940 Cleveringa arrested by nazis
November 28, 1939 Nazi Governor-General of Poland, Hans Frank organizes Judenrat
November 28, 1939 Soviet government revokes Russian-Finnish non-attack treaty
November 28, 1938 4th Heisman Trophy Award: Davey O'Brien, Texas Christian (QB)
November 28, 1934 Churchill tells Premier Baldwin not to under estimate German air power
November 28, 1932 France and U.S.S.R. signs not-attack treaty
November 28, 1932 Groucho Marx performed on radio for 1st time
November 28, 1931 Bradman scores 226, the 1st Test Cricket century at Gabba, vs. South Africa
November 28, 1930 Howard Hanson's 2nd Symphony "Romantic," premieres
November 28, 1929 Adm Richard E Byrd makes 1st South Pole flight
November 28, 1929 Ernie Nevers scores all 40 pts for Chic Cards vs Bears (NFL record)
November 28, 1927 J McHugh and D Fields' musical "Delmar's Revels," premieres in New York City
November 28, 1925 7th French government of Briand sworn-in
November 28, 1925 Grand Ole Opry premieres as WSM Barn Dance on WSM radio Nashville Tn
November 28, 1925 NHL goalie Georges Vezina collapses and dies of TB 4 months later
November 28, 1924 Pieter Jelle Troelstra leaves 2nd Chamber
November 28, 1922 6 old minsters in Greece, executed
November 28, 1922 Capt Cyril Turner (RAF) gives 1st skywriting exhibition (New York City) Turner spelled out "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200." 47,000 called
November 28, 1921 Ascension of 'Abdu'l-Baha (Baha'i festival-Qawl 6, 78)
November 28, 1919 US-born Lady Astor elected 1st female member of British Parliament
November 28, 1918 Emperor Wilhelm of Prussia and Germany, abdicates
November 28, 1917 Sigmund Rombergs revue "Over the Top," premieres in New York City
November 28, 1916 1st (German) air attack on London
November 28, 1913 Heavyweight Jack Johnson KOs Andre Spaul in Paris
November 28, 1912 Albania declares it's Indepenence from Turkey
November 28, 1911 Zapata proclaims Plan of Ayala Mexico
November 28, 1908 154 men die in coal mine explosion at Marianna Pa
November 28, 1906 Tommy Burns and Jack O'Brien fight to a draw in 20 for hw boxing title
November 28, 1905 Arthur Griffith forms Sinn Fein in Dublin
November 28, 1904 Germany defeats Hottentotten in Warmbad SW-Africa
November 28, 1901 Gustav Mahler's 4th Symphony in G, premieres
November 28, 1899 Battle of Mud river (Boer general. Cronje beats British gen Methuen)
November 28, 1895 America's 1st auto race starts; 6 cars, 55 miles, winner avg 7 MPH
November 28, 1879 Battle at Lydenburg South Africa: Gen Wolseley beats Sekhukhenes Pedi-Zulu
November 28, 1875 Verney Cameroon reaches East Africa
November 28, 1871 Ku Klux Klan trials began in Federal District Court in SC
November 28, 1864 3rd day of Battles at Waynesboro/Jones's Plantation, Georgia
November 28, 1864 Battle of New Creek, WV (Rosser's Raid, Ft. Kelly)
November 28, 1862 Battle at Cane Hill, Arkansas (475 casualties)
November 28, 1862 Battle of Hooly Spring, MS
November 28, 1861 Confederate congress officially admits Missouri to Confederate Army
November 28, 1854 Dutch army stops Chinese uprising in Borneo
November 28, 1853 Olympia forms as capital of Washington Territory
November 28, 1847 Bologna: church San Francisco dei Minori Conventuali initiated with premier of Rossini's Tantum ergo
November 28, 1833 Charles Darwin rides through Las Pietras, returning to Montevideo
November 28, 1821 Panama declares independence from Spain
November 28, 1813 Kosacks occupy Utrecht
November 28, 1795 US pays $800,000 and a frigate as tribute to Algiers and Tunis
November 28, 1776 Washington and his troops cross Delaware River
November 28, 1775 2nd Continental Congress formally establishes U.S. Navy
November 28, 1757 England condemns ceasefire of Kloster-Seven
November 28, 1745 French troops attack indians of Saratoga, New York
November 28, 1710 Battle at Brihuega: English General Stanhope captured
November 28, 1670 Pierre Corneille's "Tite et Berenice," premieres in Paris
November 28, 1660 London Royal Society forms
November 28, 1582 Playwright and poet William Shakespeare weds Anne Hathaway
November 28, 1569 Duke of Alva forces bishop Nicolaas van Nieuwland of Haarlem to resign
November 28, 1520 Ferdinand Magellan begins crossing Pacific Ocean
November 28, 1443 George Kastriotis [Skanderberg] proclaims Albania principality
November 28, 1340 Battle of Salado Spain: last Moor invasion driven back
November 28, 741 St. Gregory III ends his reign as Catholic Pope
November 28, 587 Treaty of Andelot: King Guntram takes cousin Childebert II as heir

Wish us luck!

2007-11-23T10:24:00.001-06:00

So, this is my last post from station Eagelcrest...next time I log on I will be sitting in our new office area in our townhouse! Very exciting.

Tomorrow there is a high in the 40's and a 90% chance of rain. I say "rain all you want sky, just not between the hours of 11:30 am and 2:00pm" since that is when the loading and unloading of the truck will be happening. THANKS AGAIN THOSE OF YOU HELPING...It really has been blessing already, just knowing we have some help and we hope we can return the favor some time.

I also can't wait to cook again! Enough quick-no-heat meals and fast food. I want some chicken and veggies! Alright, back to the packing...seeing progress, but I hate it when you get down closer to the end and it feels like it DRAGS on and one and on...tomorrow is a brand new day though!

Peace.

Turkey Trot

2007-11-22T08:13:00.000-06:00

I cannot believe it's t-day!!! I also cannot believe that I am over half way through my vacation/move days.

We've managed to get some things over to the new place, although much slower than Wil would have liked...it just takes us longer with Wil on crutches, but I know it will all get done (much thanks to Heather for recruiting people! She is a tried and true buddy, that's for sure!)...It's just hard for Wil to sit and watch, so it's been an emotional time. Wil had been pushing himself to help and last night at the apartment his knee gave out again. Thank goodness he was in front of a chair so he fell on that...it really scares me! He's in a lot more pain today, so he has really had to slow down. Just keep him in your thoughts. Surgery on 12/5 couldn't come fast enough!

The new place is SOOOOO much better than I had even been thinking. I am super happy! We've had some snags...lke Wil's paycheck, that is supposed to be paid out at 100% for the workers comp being MUCH lower. Here's hoping it was a mistake, but we can't verify until after the holiday. Another snag was we found out we have no active cable/phone line to our place so the company has to rerun a cable to ours....through all the backyards of our neighbors...which means digging and putting in a new line in the ground...Welcome to the neighborhood! I hope no one knows it's for us!!!

It's cold here (finally) and I am so happy about that. I can almost pretend there is a hope for snow =) It feels nice to be frosty! And we get to go have turkey with Heather's family...soem things to definitely be thankful about! Gobble gobble!

Happy Turkey day to you and yours...

Peace.

It's all downstairs from here...

2007-11-20T14:10:00.000-06:00

The move has officially begun! We picked up keys and signed the lease this morning, took a few things over, showed my sister around the palce and played with my niece...so all in all, we've not done too much! But we have the place...so now comes the fun of carrying everything downstairs to the cars...but I am feeling a lot more relaxed now that we have the keys, even being officially broke! If anyone wants to come over and see the place, call the cell!

TGI...just tired

2007-11-16T07:59:00.000-06:00

I hate running on 4 hours of sleep...especially the night before what was going to be my first day off of the holiday season...but alas, since I am in town and have quite a few new clients I thought I might as well work today. Last night I was up incredibly late trying to get paperwork and files together in an attempt to leave work worry behind so I can *enjoy* moving! But now I'm tired and I am STILL not done with all I wanted to do. It's days like this that I kinda hope a client cancels. If they do I might have a hope in getting it all done. Anyway...

I am excited to be getting a table soon...my brother in law that lived with us...his family has a table they don't want..I have no idea what it might look like, but since I am in no way wanting to shell out cash for one (yet wanting one all the same), the price is right! If I like it, well, that will just a be the cherry on top.

Alright, well, I must bust a move to an appointment. I can't wait until 6pm tonight when I will officially be on vacation and in move mode full force!

Peace.

Stupid State of Texas

2007-11-10T11:06:00.000-06:00

Made it through 12 hours of licensing exam review. I actually really enjoyed it! I adore the professor who taught it. I think he has great clinical insights and is darn funny on top of it. The most disappointing thing to hear is that some of the folks there that have already submitted thier license forms were told, by the board, they are processing apps at a 8-12 week pace...so let's break that down to how it relates to me...

12/5/07 Submit app
Hear back from board (hopefully with OK to register for exam) 2/5/08-3/5/08

Register for test

Take boards (usually 4-6 weeks out from when you register) 3/5/08-4/15/08

Board has to receieve results and process new license (another 8-12 weeks)5/5/08-7/15/08

Can anyone frickin' believe that? I will be done with my hours on 12/5/07 but I may not get my license approved (this is assuming I pass the boards the first time around...there is a 86% pass rate)until summer??? Even if everything gets done at the minimum speed, I am guessing I won't have the new license until May. There were people in my review course from OK...where the process rate is 2 weeks! All bc the legislature decided that all licensing should be under one big slow umbrella and with is a cut in staff (so now you call and the person who answers is with a call center and doesn't even know the requirements for your license!).

Grrr! I was hoping to be able to do contract work by summer, but I guess not! I think after the holidays I will definitely need a part time job...and depending on what happens with Wil's work situation...we are SO hoping this will not turn into a short term disability issue!

I'll now be in town for t-day...no NYC trip...I can't stomach the thought of leaving Willy alone.

Well, must go..Nomer and Stephen are moving boxes as we speak... the move has begun!

Thank goodness for Crass Friends

2007-11-08T06:27:00.000-06:00

...or at least one crass friend! Thank you to Heather who saved us when Wil, again, ended up sent home (driven home even) and his car left in almost frickin Wylie, needing to be picked up. I couldn't have done it without you! (And the cow and obergood cake is always more enjoyable with you there =)

Willy says "THANK YOU!" too.

Wil has his followup appt today and hopefully an MRI. So we shall see what is really going on with that knee. He is pain..both leg and brain...he hates sitting around and just wants to get back to work but can't stand at all at this point.

So as he is having that done, I get to sit through a whole day (and go back tomorrow for the second half) of social work review for my exam. Crossing fingers it is worth it! But I am expecting it will not be fast paced and fun...

Peace.

2007-11-04T18:32:00.000-06:00

Wil is doing OK..saw the ortho who advised putting more weight on it this week to "see what it will do" and then having a followup appt next week. Seems to be little pain now, just buckles a bit so we shall see what the doc says next thursday.

Friday morning I woke up and felt crappy...stuffed nose, slight fever...after weighing my options (go to work and chance giving young children something or stay home)...I decided I better stay home. Slept most of the day and felt a little better even though I was still worn out. TOO MUCH THINKING!!! I am convinced I have over thought out the entire month and I just plain exhausted myself.

This weekend has been filled with boxes, tape, and sorting! We did get more done, but still lots to do. I keep telling myself to just chill out...we have the apt until 12/25 and live about 5 miles away...so even if we have some more to do after our big "move day" on 11/24, there is plenty of time to finish up...I just really want to have it all over and done with..but I also have loads at work to do and I need to enjoy NYC, so I should give myself a break, huh? Deep breaths.

The boy animals seem to be doing OK (as in Tyson has not destroyed anything and Lucas has not peed on anyting of mine!) even with all the packing and commotion. This surprises me bc Lucas can be a real pill about change. Bella on the other hand has been having some problems...poop problems to be exact....purposeful poops in the wrong places. She also has been a little withdrawn, wandering and trying to find a quiet place other than her kennel...but there is no room anywhere. I know she'll be alright, but it'll be good for her when all this is over.

Is it Friday yet?

2007-10-31T20:02:00.000-05:00

WOW. This week has been hectic! It started out OK but turned into crazy Monday afternoon when I got a text from Wil saying "slight emergency. Call me." Come to find out he was injured at work. After a fancy ambulance ride to the ER, x-rays, pain meds...they told us nothing was broken and gave a referral to see an ortho. Wil has been off work this week and will see the ortho tomorrow. His knee still is hurting but it's a little better with the meds and staying off of it. he just wants to get back to work...so much for the overtime he was hoping for (overtime does not come around very often and this week and next he was going to get a few extra hours...oh well)!

Work has been slamming for me! Finally really busy and getting ready to be gone some in November...so less time + more clients = one tired social worker!

My next LCSW supervision is on my birthday 11/28...which will mark hours 96, 97, 98...so on December 5th I will complete my 100 LCSW supervision hour requirement!!! Then comes the paperwork, the wait, the scheduling of the test...and then the *hopefully* passing of the boards...it's almost here! Gosh, I sure can't wait to be able to do contract work on the side =) Back to work..I have an evening of paperwork ahead of me!

PEACE.

Delayed dreams

2007-10-28T01:00:00.000-05:00

I am tired...have been since 8pm tonight. Now it's 1:00am and I hear people outside playing in the sprinklers, screaming, and I wonder why I am not having fun too, since I can't sleep! Too much is going through my head these days.

Work has all of a sudden gotten busy (just as I am about to have 6 days (plus the 2 holiday days) off in November. So I have a lot to do!! Maybe I can actually make decent marks in productivity! This has also helped increase the amount of interesting home visits. I won't go into specifics, but they involve people who think that, through their bipolar disorder, their "corpus callosum" has allowed them to "connect to their subconsious in an unusual way" (but never mind the black rotting teeth and tweaking they are experiencing). And then there is the mom who was wearing her "naughty jeans" at a visit, complete with cutouts. It's amazing to be a home visitor and then really scary at times. You really see the array of circumstances in which people live.

We are watching our finances ever so carefully (we typically do, but now every cent is tracked) to make sure we can make it through until mid January and level out. WHEW!! Don't do budgeting and balancing before bed! It keeps me up. But it did get me to finally reapply for a student loan consolidation (something funky has happened each of the past 3 times I have applied--stupid citibank that owns my soul bc it has taken over ever debt I have ever had!). So cross your fingers for this poor social worker!

Packed about 8 more boxes...hmmm...that hardly made a dent anywhere...more tomorrow I guess. 2 more weekends after this to get it all done before I leave.

Alright, better try to get to sleep. Even Tyson is having some good REM sleep at this point! Probably chasing Floyd and Lucas in his dreams =)

Peace.

Shower curtains, sheets, and imagination

2007-10-17T09:48:00.000-05:00

I had an hour after work yesterday and didn't feel like going home yet, so I decided to (once again) attempt to find a shower curtain that is unique and that will pass the style test for both Wil and me. Whew! What a challenge! Is it too much to ask to find one with some orange in it?

Anyway, while I was at TJ Maxx I found some sheets to go with our new quilt (I have had the same old floral print for a LONG time and I feel it's long overdue to "man up" the bedroom so Wil doesn't get lost in too many girly colors...he says he doesn't care, but I do!). But once I was in the store I decided to wander around and ended up in some holiday aisles. It got me so excited to think about being in our new place for Christmas and being able to put up some festive decorations, since I had thought we would not get to... It kinda shocked me when I stepped outside into 80 degree weather, although much cooler here than last week...I almost forgot that I am here in the south without a colorful leaf in sight and snowflakes improbable. Will I ever enjoy the fall here? No mittens worn to a highschool football game, no fall jackets needed, few crisp mornings...no hard frost for quite some time yet...here I go again...it's just this time of year that makes me miss all that cold related stuff. Once we get into January I will be thankful once again for Texas weather. I just hope it's not too much to ask to see some snow while I am in NYC over t-day!

Let the packing begin!

2007-10-15T08:11:00.000-05:00

Wil was able to secure a crazy amount of boxes from work this past week and bring them home...we actually had to consolidate some clothes in the walk in closet so we could havea space to store them all! So the journey of packing begins...which is proving to be slow and tough bc there is absolutely no room in this apartment to sort, pack, and then store the packed boxes. We are just cramped! Our living room looks like a disaster zone and my niece is crawling between the boxes =) One month and I will be packing to leave for NYC...so it's crunch time!

Fantastic Wonderful Excitement

2007-10-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

We got to see the layout of our townhome in person today. Even though we were a little worried to sign for it sight unseen, I am so glad we did! We both love it...and the nicely sized study/storage room off the bedroom...fab! Not even all our holiday and misc. crap would fill it =) I am more excited then ever to get this move under way. I wish pictures could convey my happiness...but perhaps the fact that I made a little powerpoint of the photos we took says I am (or that I am obsessive, who can say? The pictures I included are just a few we took, but if you want to see more, just ask!). My mom appreciated it at least. She looked at the outside one and said "trees! bricks! grass!" and me, in my usual smartass way concluded "bushes! ample on-street parking!"

Nomer put money down on their place so in one month they will be moving (about 2 weeks before us). Lots of packing to do! I am glad to know Nomer has off erred to let me babysit anytime. I am so relieved ;)

Peace.

Approved

2007-10-08T07:46:00.000-05:00

Everyone got approved for their new digs this weekend. While we weren't too worried, it's nice to hear the words "you were approved" next to your names and know your app fees will not be wasted.

Now begins poverty until January with all these darn fees to pay =). We are all getting so excited though, I just don't care!!! Count down until we can see the actual home we are moving into to...it will be available for viewing starting 10/10 but I will wait until Wil gets back into town this weekend to go see it (the renovations won't be done, but at least we can see the layout since it was the only floor plan we didn't get to see when we toured)! I hope we like it alot!

We decided to move as soon as I get back from NYC...so I arrive back in town on 11/23 and we will start that day with (hopefully) friends coming over on the 24th to help with the big stuff and any boxes we have left. Electricity gets changed over as of 11/20, so Wil will be in between places during Thanksgiving. I was so excited to go to NYC, but now I feel a little guilty (and jealous) that he will be here to take possession all by himself. What can ya do...he will have t-day with his mom though, so he'll at least have one good meal!

So I must start packing ASAP so it is all ready by 11/15 when I leave for NYC. Lots to do...I cannot beleive it is just over 6 weeks or so until we move...yikes. Grin.

Peace.

Empty Nest

2007-10-04T19:12:00.000-05:00

Looks like our time at Eagelcrest is coming to a close faster than I thought!

Since Monday, both couples have found places...nomer is waiting on applying to time it right (can only apply 30 days in advance of the day you want to move int) but there seems to be quite a few apartments where she is looking, so lets cross our fingers all goes well! If all goes as planned she will be in her new place around t-day. I have been getting tears alot when i think about not seeing JayLynne everyday...I'm gonna have to steal her for some overnights...

Wil and I signed applications and put money down on a townhouse...of course, as luck would have it (notice sarcasm) the only 1 bedroom available was the highest price one...and to reserve it we will need to take possession on 11/20/07 (almost a month before we anticpated) to, so Merry Christmas to us with 2 rent payments and 2 pet deposits due within 30 day period(YIKES!)...but now that I am thinking about the layout of the one we are getting, I like it more and more than the loft that wasn't that much less $$ anyway. They seem to rent them fast and people don't move often, so I guess the timing is as good as it gets! We will get to see our actual place on 10/13 (before upgrades/renovations, but I am sure I will start getting even mroe pumped!)

If only it weren't for the deposits these days... Just look at this: $200 (DirecTV dish deposit, $800 pet deposit (for two dogs that only weigh 18 lbs combined!), $150 regular deposit, $60 app fee, $100 admin fee...for a grand total of $1310...and that's before we start paying rent..having pets is expensive, that's for sure! I am just happy to say I will not be in apartment and I think the sticker shock will fade more once we move in (too bad i will be in NYC during the week we take possession!)

It's gonna be a stretch, especially with my licensure coming up and the money that comes with that process. So it looks like no 30th bday party for me...but perhaps some Wii fun on New Years Eve for free at our new digs? I just hope that anything I get for my birthday/xmas comes in the form of cash or Target gift card (at least that's what I am gonna tell my family!).

I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the town house though (pictures to come)....Ya'll might have to just come over, bc I won't have much money to go out...but we can play in the backyard with the puppies =) And come March when we catch up with bills, everything will be groovy once more.

Peace.

Breaking up is hard to do

2007-10-03T08:40:00.000-05:00

Well, my sister and I had a good long talk this week and came to the decision that it's time to part ways (in terms of living together). So we are free to see other apartments =)

Wil and I have been excitd by the idea of when we would have a place of our own again (same with my sister) but it's still been an emotional week. It's gonna be hard not to see my niece every morning and night...but I think the farthest we will end up living away is 10-15 minutes, so hopefully I will be able to get my fix often enough!

Now I am left with some great anxiety about what to do about moving. The puppies would LOVE to have some yard, and after 8 years together in apartmens we are burned out on apartment community life. I looked at a townhouse yesterday...down a pecan-tree-lined, dead end, street. Quiet, homey. It's about the same size as our current apartment, but with a cute fenced in back yard. Only problem is the new management compant is going to renovate this fall and that means ALL NEW insides(what I wouldn't give for an oven that bakes right) but a higher sticker price than we were hoping. Something we could handle, but we always talk about cutting expenses, not making more (we just finished paying off a car...about the same difference as the extra rent we would pay). What to do! It's made worse by the fact that Wil is travelling this week and I saw the place all by myself...so now I have to wait until Wil gets back to see it, then we can make a decison and either move on or prepare for moving in. I did my research and have not found any other places that are similar (for the price and yard) within the areas we want to live. There are only suppossed to be 2 1-bedrooms coming open this fall...in a 97 unit place, that's not too many! So I also feel some pressure to decide so we don't lose out. My income will be going up after I get my licensure (around the time we move), but do you bank on that and decide to move on up or play it safe?

If anyone has any sage advice to calm my nerves, I am all ears! Uggghhh...more updates to come!

Call me loon-y**

2007-09-27T17:36:00.000-05:00

For anyone who still wonders how someone can live in Minnesota (and like it)...well, for starters you probably have never been there! Because if you step foot there you will find it's one of the best, most friendly and wholesome places to be. No where else can you get stranded by the side of the road and have more than one person stop to call, help change a tire, or jump start you vehicle. Life is not perfect there, but things seem to be taken in stride a little more. A little more simple I guess. All of that AND it has some of the best social services and it's primarily democrat to boot! What's not to love?

At this point in my life I don't think I will ever live there again (since all my family is moving down south and my husband is, as he says, "a tropical people"), but if I could pick any place to be on a winter night, it would be there. Or fall. Or spring...just about anytime really. Do you ever just long for and miss a certain place yet, in your heart, know that there is no going back either? Life has kept marching on and your family and plans evolve around you and you find yourself far from places you love...but you also know that where you are now is exactly where you need to be. One thing I know is that, no matter how long I live out of the state of Minnesota...I will always be grateful for being a Minnesota girl.

Peace.

**PS The LOON is the state bird of Minnesota

If you're not from Minnesota the following might not make sense...but it's all SO true...

_____________________________________________________________
Jeff Foxworthy on Minnesota :

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",
You might live in Minnesota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,
You might live in Minnesota

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Minnesota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You might live in Minnesota .

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
You might live in Minnesota .

If you know how to say...Wayzata...Mahtomedi....Cloquet . Edina ....and Shakopee,
You might live in Minnesota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,
You might live in Minnesota.

If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend,
You might live in Minnesota.

You measure distance in hours,
You might live in Minnesota .

You know several people, who have hit deer more than once,
You might live in Minnesota.

You often switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You might live in Minnesota.

You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events,
You might live in Minnesota .

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked,
You might live in Minnesota .

You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison,
You might live in Minnesota .

You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them,
You might live in Minnesota .

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time,
You might live in Minnesota.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You might live in Minnesota.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You might live in Minnesota.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction,
You might live in Minnesota.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent,
You might live in Minnesota.

Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce,
You might live in Minnesota.

If "Down South" to you means Iowa,
You might live in Minnesota .

You know "a brat" is something you eat,
You might live in Minnesota .

You find -10 degrees "a little chilly",
You might live in Minnesota .

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends,
You DO live in Minnesota.

Just for Rashea =)

2007-09-11T11:58:00.001-05:00

So an old chum reminded me that I have not blogged in a while..and I thought no one was coming to this site ;)

Updates...let's see, I made it past my 5 months mark at work and am officially off probation (which essentially means I can request time off now)...review went well...I am still hanging in there and attempting to get some sort of organization and flow to my work. Organization not being my strong point (just let me be with people all day, I am good at that!), it's an uphill battle.

Looked at how much this whole advanced licensure thing is gonna cost...between boards, fees, studying, etc it will proy be around $600. Ouch. I have now added "Licensing Fees" to my birthday and xmas wishlist (in fact, it willbe the only thing on there!)

We are starting to get into move mode now...our lease is up in December (THANK GOODNESS). We (meaning Wil, me, Nomer, Stephen) have all decided to keep the family together and find a bigger place (or should I say we all agree we would love to rent a house and it is economically feasible if we are roomies =)...it will be great to move out of the 950 sq. feet apt. Wish us luck. There are potential roadblocks in our plan, but we are hopeful.

Wil starts travelling again next week...for more than a month. Although there is no room at home to be lonely, I'll miss his silly face. So, boo!

Got a tattoo 2 weeks ago...it is now healed and, yes, I am still liking it (everyone seems to ask "will you still like it later?") With every step I am reminded to be tenacious (haha, sicne that is what the kanji actually says!).

I am about 70 days into my "healthier me" life. Not easy, but I have made some good progress! 19 pounds down, getting in some good me time, and exercise to top it off. Wil and my sister are also rocking...it's been good to have our own little team here.

My mom will be here next week. So excited. I will have to post some pics...she plans on getting in some good margarita time.

Well, it's back to work...off to an appt. I promise I will try to check back in sooner!

Peace.

A thin letter

2007-07-30T17:14:00.001-05:00

Remember in H.S. when you did NOT want a thin letter from a college? Big was better...but not today!

I was ever so surprised and excited to get a thin letter from the state of Texas...The board approved my supervision plan!!! Yippee!!!

The only glitch was they approved it starting on 4/21/07 and my old supervision plan expired on 3/17/07. So I will have missed out on a month of work hours to count...BUT, I will give them that b/c technically I had NO supervisor during that time bc my new supervision started on 4/21/07 (and my past supervisor ended with me on, you guessed it, 3/17/07). OH WELL. I am just giddy that I will not need a road trip to Austin to fight anything (However, Heather mentioned a celebratory outing instead?? =) Might just hold ya to that one...

Good news though. The count down is back on!!!

Ahh, technology

2007-07-30T07:39:00.000-05:00

So I tried to post an entry called "pet numerology" back on June 29th and it would NOT do it! Well, I finally figured out that it had been saved as a draft so it was never lost...so check out that blog by scrolling down a little further...it's new, just a little late =)

Sparks of Hope

2007-07-13T09:40:00.000-05:00

Get a Free Online Diet

Things are going well this week. I am still waiting for the state board office to reopen, but I will continue on with my supervision until I hear I can't. My supervisor is well connected I am excited about some potential opportunities bc of it!

I've been very happy this week. I have really been doing some soul searching and a whole lot of cardio. I have never been an "exercise yea!" person, but just getting in 30 minutes a day has been a big stress reducer for me. I joined this site called sparkpeople (link above) which is a free wellness program. You can do goal setting for all areas of your life and get hooked in with other people who are also trying to be well (kinda like myspace). It has been uplifting and I have been surprised by how something so small, one decision, has been a big factor in how well my week is going. Mom always told me to surround myself with uplifting people...I guess I just enver figured it would come from an online community (I am officially a nerd!). I know I am not crazy when I say how much I like it, because everyone else I know that has joined enjoys it just as much.

Work is going OK. As I get to know people better, personalities get more intense and I am finding a need to balance how friendly I get with some personal distance so I don't get trapped up in drama or in a certain group. It's tough in small workplace though when you want to have some connections!

My mom is getting more excited about moving down. She will also be visiting this fall (Do I smell margaritas?). I am also 138 days until my 30th birthday. Start planning gifts kids. I'll have to post a wishlist later ;)

Peace.

Little annoyances

2007-07-03T15:18:00.000-05:00
I need 5 minutes to bitch. Then I will move on from this...

Ever have one of those days where all the small things annoy you? That little feeling in the bottom of your stomach and the feeling that you have to paste on a grin? Grrr...Wil found out they are cutting back on hours again...until September!! So not only does he have to work overnights, but 32 hours will be considered full time (and he's hourly...so that is a considerable chunk--can we say 25% less money!!!)...

Then at work it feels as that as I get to know people better I notice distinct "groups" of people that hang out together. I would rather not be in any group and feel a little uncomfortable about the whole thing...I won't go into it, but I just don't like it! It's also way tougher being THE social worker (face it, we are our own group!)

Then I try to call and check on the status of my license...heather had told me that the office had been closed due to a pipe breaking...well, it still is!!! They have been closed since June 13th and there is not official open date posted. So I guess I am waiting to find out about the appeal until then!!!

I am also realizing more and more that although I am SO happy I got this new job, it came at an awkward time in my life...right after my dad died and before I had really "finished" my grieving (I know there is no finish line, but I don't think I had time to really get back to "normal" living before I started the new gig). I'm working on it, but in the meantime I managed to gain back the weight I lost before my dad died, feel more distant from those I love, spend less time with the puppies, etc. I am really trying to get it all back together again...not just in appearances (because I am so good at those and it's my biggest flaw!) but for real. I would just much rather be the social worker for the world and never take care of myself--it feels uncomfortable and foreign to me. Alot of my relationships are built on me filling that role (did I create this to keep my distance and/or are some people attracted to me be I often play the motivator/supporter role?). ANYWAY, I am back to doing some things for myself and working on those pieces of my life that seem to be holding me back or that are unfinished.

Wish me luck...enough bitching...back to the grindstone!

Pet Numerology

2007-06-29T16:08:00.000-05:00

I don’t usually do these things, but this was too funny! Wil and I added up the pet’s numbers, based on the following grid (use the whole name, add up the numbers for each of the names, if it’s double digit add the digits to get a 1-9, 11, or 22; Lastly add your names together, add the digits again…etc until you get a final number between 1-9 or 11 or 22. Ex. TYSON CLARK =27165; 33192, which =18; 12, which is 1+8 and 1+2, which=9+3 or 12, then= 1+2= 3—get it??).

We had a laugh. Too funny! Do it for yourself! I especially liked Tyson’s! Post a comment with YOUR pet's number!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
a b c d e f g h I
j k l m n o p q r
s t u v w x y z

Here's our favorite parts of the

Tyson: 3 (Energy and ideas in action, joy of life, may lack self-discipline)

Bella: 5 (Persuasive. Enjoys the finer things)
Lucas: 11 (too high-strung, metaphysical)

NUMBERS AND THEIR OVERALL CHARACTERISTICS
1 through 9plus 11 and 22

_____________
1
Natural leader,self-sufficient,ambitious.
Avoid extremes ofbossiness, shyness.Too impulsive.
Standing out fromthe crowd. Tryingnew ideas.
Political leadership,celebrity, or smallbusiness owner.
2
Loving, peace-maker, analytical,ideal partner.
Hanging back, notspeaking up. Stuckon details, lonely.
Finding the rightrelationship. Needsharmony, order.
Diplomatic corps,counselor, partnerin small business.
3
Outgoing, joy of life, imaginative,enthusiastic.
Fears routine. Maylack self-discipline,accomplish little.
Energy and ideasin action. Havinga good time.
Press secretary,party planner, smallbusiness promoter.
4
Works hard,practical, getsthings done.
Fears downsizing,not having familiarroutine. Rigid.
Need for security.Develops orderout of chaos.
Administrator, teamplayer, back officeof small business.
5
Bold, daring, andpersuasive. Enjoysthe finer things.
Restlessness to thepoint of boredom.Easily side-tracked.
To search for newopportunities. Takechances. Try it all.
Public figure, media,develop new ideafor small business.
6
Warm, nurturing,and happily dom-estic. Reliable.
May end up feelinglike a doormat. Canbe too opinionated.
Taking care ofloved ones. Findingsafety, comfort.
Personal assistant,educator, or catererto small business.
7
A deep thinker,spiritually inclined.Unique, eccentric.
Too aloof and fearsnot living up to highstandards. A loner.
To seek answersto life's questions.Observe. Discover.
Analytical field. Orself-employment insmall business.
8
Decisive, forceful,good with money.Accomplished.
Often lacks feelingfor those who standin the way of goals.
To strive higher,take control, seekpower, status.
Professional field,or operator of smallbusiness franchises.
9
Inspired, intuitive,creative. Seeks toimprove the world.
Needs to avoid badhabits, and attendto life's details.
To see the "bigpicture." To dreamthe dream.
Community leader,organize small bus-iness owners.
11
A visionary, anartist. Expandsconsciousness.
Avoid extremes,being too high-strung. Impractical.
To be enlightenedand to enlightenothers.
Metaphysical smallbusiness with far-reaching appeal.
22
Goal-oriented andpractical but on aglobal scale.
May feel born acentury "too early."Too overextended.
To have a missionand see it carriedout globally.
Provide web sites tosmall businesses fortotal global change.

Crossing the fingers...

2007-06-29T14:39:00.000-05:00
Well, this week I sent off my appeal to the state for my licensure. I included what I think is more than enough info on why I am right and they are wrong...let's just hope this is the case!!!

I have also just completed my 3-month mark at my job. In some ways I feel more settled and in some ways less settled. I am getting the hang of some of the basic stuff yet each case is so different that there is really not a good way to get the knowledge I need, other than be in the position for a year or two! Next month I will have my 4-month review...hopefully it goes well!

In pet news, Tyson met Floyd, Heather's new little man, and the meeting went...well, lets just picture this: two male puppies that both think they are the center of the universe...colliding...but I think it will get better. We swapped blankets so they can get used to each other's smell. Here’s hoping!

My sister Erin, that is currently in VA but moving to TX, has been on bed rest all week...say some prayers for her and my new niece to be Sedona. Her hubby has been in El Paso for about 5 weeks at his new job and she has been alone with the moving prep. I can't wait until she is i nthe same state!

Mother in law was here this past weekend…you’ll have to ask for specific details on that! So this weekend I don’t want to HAVE to do anything! Some R&R is well deserved…Peace out home fries.

Looping

2007-06-17T13:02:00.001-05:00
It's Sunday. But not any ordinary Sunday, as all the commercials and cards and stores have been alerting me to for weeks now: It's Father's Day.

I am by no means the only person not doing anything special today...I know there are alot of people out there far from their dads either geographically or emotionally...

Today should not be that much different for me from the last 3 or so years, not being able to say the words or be near my dad, separated by miles and dementia...but you know, it still feels different...a little more empty and sad than before, this, the first father's day after my dad died.

I'm not sure I have a lot more to say about it. The grief loop continues and today is one of those loops I am sitting at the bottom of...seeing him in my niece's smile and remembering him in so many things...anyway, I know this is part of my process...but I can't help but wish I could snuggle up under the covers until it is over. But that was so not the dad I had...there was no giving up, only moving forward. So here's to keeping on...or at least the struggle to do so. Peace.

Learning Curve

2007-06-08T20:42:00.000-05:00
Back from the old 2 day training-roo. It was actually the the fastest training I have ever been to! The presenters were both LCSW's (although trust me, that does not guarantee a good presentation)...and boy were they GOOOOD! My mind feels a little cluttered with all the info and my heart feels inspired...I guess that is a good combination. It's just hard b/c I really believe in the mission of the field I am in...yet there is some rub between that and traditional mental health...and again in thinking about "proving" that my work is clinical to the freakin' board. I talked to the presenters about the board denying me and they couldn't believe it either since they have both been in the same type of position prior to being trainers. They said that our field gets misunderstood and people aren't educated about how "we" do things. We strive for a transdisciplinary approach which is different from alot ofother models. Anyway, I am very excited to go to more trainings by this dynamic duo...wish I could pack them up and bring them back with me!

I have alot to aspire too...at least everywhere I turn I am reminded there is at least a 1 year "learning curve" to ECI...I just get so impatient with myself...so much to do...so many things I would like to see happen with my position...

On the car front...both cars have been acting up! I am hoping (crossing fingers) the weird stuff is just a fluke and not anything major! Especially since I don't get paid until Friday =(

Peace.

Energized and Anxious

2007-06-06T17:28:00.000-05:00
Well I am done being sad about the denial...but I am still pretty anxious about making sure I PROVE myself in the next application. It's also put a fire under my arse to finish some projects that will make my practice more ethical, detailed, and organized. The last person in my job was really nice and good at her job, but she kept it very informal with her counseling caseload. I am coming in from a different perspective or wanting to develop the position...even just with the basics such as referral forms, comprehensive mental health assessment, treatment plan, termination report, progress note, etc. They have all those forms for the kiddos, but they just don't fit the parents I am seeing and I want my butt covered...and not to mention it would be nice to have work product to prove progress and that I am worth keeping around =) At work I am not sure people understand the need for the forms...but they are for my personal files only so it won't affect anyone but me. I am excited to set up my new files!

So...I am energized by getting 4 different documents created today...I am on my way to proving my clinical-ness and to using all that info I learned in grad school and from other jobs. Whoot for me. Thank goodness I am a saver...I had all sorts of good examples to glean from!

Alright, off to get ready...I have to leave at 6am tomorrow for a 2 day conference out of town...back Friday. Peace.

Denied!

2007-06-04T17:31:00.000-05:00
So I rec'd a nice little letter in the mail today from the state licensing board letting me know they DENIED my new app for advanced licensure (every time you switch jobs you have to resubmit). Apparently the new job description does not sound clinical enough for them. Now my job IS clinical and in my mind should qualify...but they have been tightening up things down in Austin lately.

They gave me a few options: 1.) Discontinue supervision (this would mean 2.5 years of grad school and 1.5 years of post grad supervision down the drain). 2.) Submit further explanation to prove it is clinical in nature.

Then they went on to say if I submitted again and it was denied I could then appeal to the powers that be and and show up in Austin at some point to argue my case.

My supervisor at the job is very supportive and is letting me rework the job description (in all reality, i don't think it has been rewritten for awhile and certainly not by a clinical person who can add all the buzz words to better describe to the board what it really expected of me). They also said i can send in work product (minus confidential info) to prove it...I do have some of this...but since I am in the process of creating this new product (they had no forms specific to my work so I have been busy coming up with things) I don't have much...yet.

SO...Say a prayer...cross fingers...dance to the gods...look for a groundhog...whatever it takes! I am 25 weeks away from being done...now if only I can prove I am actually DOING counseling for some magical percentage of my hours...

6 Months in Quotes

2007-05-30T20:25:00.000-05:00
This is the first blog on the new site, after much persuasion to to switch over from myspace so those of you (the very few) who aren't on myspace can also "enjoy" my ramblings. Since this is the first of many and my brain is a little tired today, I'm going to start out with a little recycling of quotes, experiences, etc that have moved me this year (so far). So for those of you who have read them already, please press forward or enjoy them a second time around.

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My battle cry for the year 2007 is the following address. At the beginning of 2007 I made no resolutions, only a promise that this would be a year of progress and changes.

We are the Ones We've Been Waiting For
We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered:

Where are you living?What are you doing?What are your relationships?Are you in the right relation?

Know your garden. It is time to speak your truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time.

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The Elders say we must let go of the shore and push off and into the river. Keep your eyes open and your head above water. See who is in there with you and Celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over, Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner and in Celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

- The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona

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Six days into the new year, my dad passed away after 20+ years of fighting for health. I think everyone in my family is still feeling the impact of his life, both in watching someone struggle and in the peace afterwards. It's easy to pick what part of my life that has shaped me the most--my dad's journey--but there are many players in that story. One thing never changes...it's the reason I am social worker.

"So long as space remains, So long as sentient beings remain, I will remain, In order to help, in order to serve, In order to make my own contribution."-The Dalai Lama
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20 days after my dad's death, a long trip home and back, my very first niece, Jay Lynne, arrived. I swear that there are times, when she giggles real hard, that I can see my dad's goofy grin on her sweet face.

"Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is." Gary Zucav

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Our home expanded in February when my sister, niece, and her finance moved in. It's been a journey in itself. Home is what you make it..and for now this our family, this is our home...cozy =)

“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort." Jane Austen

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In March I found an amazing new job after a year and a half of working unpaid overtime, not making enough to pay the bills, and being at a company that constantly made threats. I did learn some good lessons in faith there (in never knowing if the next day was the day they might do layoffs) and picked up some new friends. But boy, am I ever glad to be at the new place where they actually value their employees and treat them as their most valuable asset.

"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls"
- Joseph Campbell

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I am a big believer in family...the birth kind yes, but more importantly one's chosen family formed of people we trust, love, admire, and lean on for moral support. I am so grateful for those that have allowed me to be a part of their life. The month of May has been really challenging as two people from our movie group family are dealing with health issues. You know who you are and you are both on my mind and in my prayers. I am continually inspired by your strength.

As for birth family, I am SO excited to have another segment of family moving to Texas (El Paso, but hey, but hey, it's closer than Virginia!)...Welcome to Texas Erin and David!

We ended May with a Memorial Day bash and a trip to see Lisa. It was great to be surrounded by everyone...

“The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you." Kendall Hailey

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OK. That gets everyone a little acquainted with life so far this year, or at least some main points. I promise the next blog will be all shiny and new. Just you wait!

Peace.