It's Sunday. But not any ordinary Sunday, as all the commercials and cards and stores have been alerting me to for weeks now: It's Father's Day.
I am by no means the only person not doing anything special today...I know there are alot of people out there far from their dads either geographically or emotionally...
Today should not be that much different for me from the last 3 or so years, not being able to say the words or be near my dad, separated by miles and dementia...but you know, it still feels different...a little more empty and sad than before, this, the first father's day after my dad died.
I'm not sure I have a lot more to say about it. The grief loop continues and today is one of those loops I am sitting at the bottom of...seeing him in my niece's smile and remembering him in so many things...anyway, I know this is part of my process...but I can't help but wish I could snuggle up under the covers until it is over. But that was so not the dad I had...there was no giving up, only moving forward. So here's to keeping on...or at least the struggle to do so. Peace.
1 comment:
Can't imagine that feeing you're having. Father's Day has never meant anything to me really..but it's for entirely different reasons. I know you made it through just fine though..you're one tough chick.
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