Sunday, March 1, 2009

JC's Road to Redemption: 4 days to go!

OK. I had to snag TI's show's title...even though I am being set free in 4 more freakin' days and not sentenced! (And, I'll admit it, I've watched the show a few times)

It's been a LONG month, however, and not very stress free! Regardless, its gone more smoothly than I had imagined and been harder than I expected too! People have been very kind to me as I transition out to the new job. So I can't complain about that. All while also going cold turkey off diet coke...but I made it to March!

Now to just finish all this dang paperwork I've been procrastinating doing...when I gave notice the stress and emotional toll made me go into hibernation on the paperwork front (survival mode) so now it's all hitting me and I've got lots to get turned in before Thursday!

We did our taxes today and THANK THE GOOD LORD we are getting a return! We have not had a return for nearly the whole time we've been married! So it was nice and unexpected :)

My 5k training is still going...getting harder...but hoping to complete it by June...I never ran a single mile in my whole life (not even in PE class...I usually walked) so the fact I'll soon be running 5k is mind boggling...but I'm already thinking about how great it would be to do a 10k training later in the year! I'm hooked...

Alright...that's all I've got...not much new here!

Peace.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Social Worker 007: Live to See Another Day

I've been gone a long time! Sometimes when you find yourself in lockup, you lose contact with the outside world...you find yourself under constant surveillance, you lose hope, and you keep head down...but you never lose track of how many days you've been there...fortunately, my sentence is coming to an end. In 28 days I will be free from my current work. I will miss the school terribly, the clients, some of the coworkers...but not the cell I've been confined to!
Since I've given my notice, strange things have been happening...most people are excited that I've made it out! I even had a client, who is very insightful, tell me that she "doesn't blame me" for leaving because she can see the place is "dysfunctional" and "oppressive.". That pretty much sums it up! When I worked county, it was traumatic but in a way that was not personal. It was unpredictable, but anyone was at risk. The current job is traumatic in a personal passive aggressive way. There are power and control issues. People like a good verbal alley brawl as a way to communicate. Step out of line get punished. Say nothing get looked down on. One day they're nice, one day they're not. And don't you dare joke...ever!

The wise hubby said "it sounds like an abusive relationship.". He also hit it on the head! So I started seeking shelter elsewhere and a special social worker I know hooked me up!

So, a big thanks to Heather who helped this social worker...live to see another day. I'll be ever so glad to start the new job! But I'm sure there will be a few more stories before I'm outta there!

Peace. (I'm back)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

the office

For anyone that watches the show "The Office", my workplace is just as dysfunctional, without the humor! I've made it through my initial days post-kick ass supervisor who moved...can you believe she actually left on the anniversary of my dad's death? Tuesday was a tough day!

I've made a few friends at work that help pass the time, but they have dreams of leaving too...its no wonder when you find yourself working in a place with no passwords, VM codes, and the boss has been known to rumage through people's desks and belongings! INSANE! I've started to become a wee bit paranoid and suspect the walls have ears...if I step back to look at all the craziness and extreme personalities (ex. Coworker who has a storage unit full of empty coke cans...and only coke cans!) It's all rather comical and a good start to a bestselling book...but close up its just annoying and stressful.

I'm thankful this week for my sister who is teaming up with me at the gym. This really helps 6am a lot! And it helps relieve some work tension!

May 1, 2009 is the relay for life...I'll soon be sending out the info if you wouldn't mind making a donation...we're walking in remembrance or our friend Lisa who passed away spring 2008.

Alrighty, I'm off to a movie with the movie gang...peace out!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

strange tingles

Yesterday I had a strange last day of 2008. Normally NYE for me means hosting a party, a day off work, and fun reflections. But as I sat at work, until 5pm, I had a strange feeling come over me--regret!

I say this feeling is strange because this time of year I'm able to pinpoint several things in my life that make me feel proud of the last 365 days (and one nano second). That's not to say I don't always have things left on my life to-do list, just that I've made progress!

And then I felt tears welling up in my eyes. True, I've learned some things this year and I cannot deny the many blessings in my life. Its just that I somewhat have a (although flexible so I'm not tied down) plan for my life. A vision of who and what I want in my life. I steadily chip away at road blocks to get there. So this strange sensation, a lack of progress, is unsettling.

I know there must be, or at least I have to believe, there are greater lessons to be learned, a broader scope to be lived than my simple aspirations would have allowed. But sitting at my desk I just felt overwhelmed. Good lord, I'm too young for a midlife crisis!

Instead of my usual recap of events, I'm going with lessons learned this year. I'm trying to make meaning out of my choices.

LESSONS of 2008:

1.). Money, even if it makes paying your student loan possible, doesn't always buy happiness
2.). When in doubt, trust your gut feeling. Its there for a reason
3.). A few good friends are better than many and can often be ones long lost or brand spankin' new
4.). Its ok to say no...to events, people, tasks...I only have so much time and energy and I want it to count!
5.). Sometimes acheiving one goal in life makes another goal harder to attain without you realizing it. Even when you've "done the right thing" or in the "right order" you may find yourself without the things you now really want.
6.). There is nothing more precious than being with your family and nothing more heart wrenching than not
7.). I need to read more. Its fun. And it makes you smarter.
8.). A good supervisor and administration is more valuable than any benefit package.
9.). I'm where I am to learn something...now I just have to figure it out!
10.). Distance does make the heart grow fonder.

That's it folks. Its on to the new year no matter if we like it or not! Its allgoing to be OK. I just know it.

Peace, growth, and refelections in 2009!