Christmas Miracles (?)

Sick this weekend and have managed to also give it to my recovering hubby! Darn daycare kids I see...those places are germ havens and I seem to catch it easily.

Finally opened up the money management program after ignoring it the last two weeks (usually we are looking at it daily)...I knew it was not gonna be what I wanted to see so I have been in denial! It's gonna be a slim xmas this year...no gifts to be given...not even $5 night a the movies...just trying to survive at this point.

After 6 weeks of modified pay from Wil's work (did anyone else realize how much they tax workers comp? WOW is all I can say), the expenses of having two residences this month, top it off with some car repairs this weekend, we finally had to tap into our savings. Breaks my heart, but what can you do? That's what it is there for, but it makes me feel uneasy.

I am trying to keep in mind that all of this happening right now is potentially a blessing not understood [yet]. Having seen the pictures of Wil's knee from the inside (just ask Wil to see 'em!) I can see that this injury was probably inevitable...and boy, in retrospect I am glad it happened at work and that we have some income and medical covered. I can only imagine it having happened during our move and then having no pay after he would have blown through his PTO, going through our own insurance, etc. Perhaps we already received our Christmas miracle but have just been too busy bitching about the situation to step back and see it.

It has just been a surreal time for me. Certainly Wil's injury was never life threatening, but it's really triggered for me past crap that I keep think I have moved on from...only to show me I have more work to do with managing my emotions in healthy ways. [I know I am rambling...I get so used to listening and processing other people's issues at work that I sometimes write mine out alot better than saying them].

November through January is the tough part of the year for me ever since my 7th bday when my dad was first hospitalized (he was released that first time right before thanksgiving). A few years later my grandpa died during Decemeber. Last thanksgiving was the last time I saw my dad and he died right after New Years last year. My worst fear in the world is to have a sick husband and have to go through half of what my mom did. I don't have kids, no farm to run, and Wil is OK. So it's not even close to what it was like when I was a kid. But all of this happening around this time of year has been tough and a flood of hard times I try to block out.

[deep breaths]

but the christmas lights are on the bushes outside and cookies will start to be baked next weekend. My nieces will both be here for xmas eve. December will pass and with it some of intensity I should expect at this time of year.

I was put in charge of this month's peer supervision activity. I won't give it all away (the craft part at least), but it involves 3 questions. If you'd like to reply with your answers or just think about it, feel free.

A lesson, a hope, and a promise

1.) What is one major lesson you have learned this year?
2.) What is one hope you have at this moment in time?
3.) What is one promise you want to make for the year coming up?

Enough writing. I feel better now =)

Peace.